kthxrawr

let me just say this.

kiraras_lemon is a fucking star. she is one of the people who I know will always help me out, listen to me and tell me when I'm a complete idiot.
and when it's okay for me to say 'no, i can't do this.'

thanks for everything. ♥ when all these exams are over, you, me, and a fuckload of bandom dvds.

-

i am on the mend,
at least now i can say that i am trying,
and i hope you will forget,
the things i still lack.
yeah. yeah.

urgh. *wretchface* revision. but good luck to any of you who have exams right now! which probably isn't many. you weird people with your December exams.
my notes currently include words like dominant, victim and BILBO.

I am amassing a long list of fic to write. this isn't good.

Lush do the best face cleaners ever. it tastes of salt and fruit, which is rather unpleasant. for once, I didn't mean to try it though. which is unusual.

I'm just so... tired, I guess. I'm sleeping lots, just tired. I can't wait for these two weeks to be over.
...I'm also a little worried? okay, a lot worried.

I need to sort out if I'm going to London and things like that. I really do want to, though. fun things? yes plz. ZOO? even more yes plz.

I hate my shitty memory combined with alcohol. went out with Katie, Max and Andrew on Wednesday and many hilarious things were said. however, all I remember is Max yelling 'you're a fag' through the wall and Andrew inappropriately dancing at Max's back. while Max was, um, otherwise occupied. good times, good times. also, never put make up on without checking what the weather outside is like. ahaha, drowned rat look is so in.
I also need new converse. like, yesterday. hopefully I'll see Emmy soon, but thinking of buying some red cons as well. or green.

also, HAY. five months till I'm 21. awesome.

( we can has house? )

my god, I totally cannot wait. Chloe and Katie are going to talk more to the landlord tomorrow so. we'll see. there's a few little issues like storage space for the back room, but it can be worked around.

-

'Pretty. Odd.', huh?
Panic make me gleeful, if not bemused by their punctuation. but hey, just release the goddamn uk dates already.
I'm eyeing the window of time between the Europe mainland dates and the Honda Civic dates hopefully. June is too far away.
I might have to try and convince Katie she wants to see them, haha. but I already have a list of 3 people to go with.
but oh god. I am so looking forward to this. I've been checking the website daily, moreorless, to see the updates on the puzzle.
also, disappearing exclamation marks ftw.

-

last night was fun, if not slightly bemusingly awkward, in the best possible way.
good nights always end with wet converse and static in my ears.

-

I feel detached from situations.
this isn't my life defining moment. or does it define my life by saying that?
my logic is always circular.

-

I have my Skullcandy headphones. ♥
they're green and shiny and awesome.

drunked livejournal posts are always the win.

although I still have enough of my senses to spell a little. it's better than p[redictive text. [semagic is going 'WTF YOU CANNOY SPELL' but I'm shunning it.]

tonight was FANTASTIC. I may or may not have gotten myself eloped with two - three? - girls, with a boy as our lead bitch. I am happy happy, even if my head is a little spinny.
I get in the way of love confessions WHICH IS HIGHLY AWKWARD OKAY, ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM SOBER ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND HIM AND SHE IS NOT.
it did pretty good at killing my angst.

I love my friends ♥ ♥

this song is awesome.

NOW. I go to watch The Empire Strikes Back. ahaha.

smoke makes me cough, people make me annoyed.
but it was still fun. haven't seen people for too long.

not as long as others make it out to be. seriously, every time I see Jason, he's like 'I haven't seen you for months!'
dude, I saw you more recently than like... everyone else apart from Becky, Jordan and Vanesha.

-

'I shall kill your monstaaaaaaa.'
Beowulf made me laugh.
cause it was kind of lame.

-

I will never not love Ellie. ♥

-

if it's by air, I don't wanna know. if we all don't take cover, we're all gonna fall back in love again
[you work late to fight off your pulse, your patient dies, you take the night off.]

ugh, one of my friends is pissing me off.
okay, so last year - I spent a lot of time in lectures with Jonny, John and Mark since we had a few more lectures together than I did with Keith. so we'd end up sitting around and eating lunch too. and I know they can be kind of bitchy. but to be honest, they're like that with everyone. but they don't like Keith so much.
towards the end of the year, we started talking to a couple of other guys - Mel and Paul - who are okay, even if Paul is a little creepy.
and now this year - I have one lecture with Keith, Mel and Paul, who have more lectures together that I don't have. I wouldn't mind if it didn't coincide with Keith start acting like a bitch. leaving bitchy anonymous comments on facebook calling me 'a wannabe emo' [there are so many levels of wtf to that]. clearing rubbish off a table and someone says 'oh. just chuck it all over there.' and he says 'and her too?'

maybe I'm being oversensitive.

the emo thing. I don't know. it's the wannabe part of it. I am not ashamed to say I like what is classed by most people as emo music. [genre debate another day plz.] I kind of like some of the emo fashions, but not necessarily on myself. the whole androgynous scene kid thing - yeah, I think that's kind of fucking cool, to be honest. I kind of wish I could get away with it. I call myself the happiest emo. it's a joke. I don't mind people saying I'm an emo.
but, like I said, it's the wannabe thing that gets me. the implication that I'm a failure at being an emo.

[waw waw wa~w]

[appropriate icon? keywords: hate is a strong word but- i really really really don't like you.]

-

in other news, worlds are interconnected, fencing is made of misheard phrases and I am permanently about ten minutes behind everyone else.
I've had my first two labs of the year, and they went okay. even if one of them I had someone who did the course last year helping me. ahaha.

( lyric meme! )

oh my god, certain band that appears on her the most, please stop shuffling your live tracks. seriously. they keep playing.

-

our first problem based learning exercise is to do with making children's toys. so we start talking about the design options and one of the team points out we should market it at adults, because then we could make it more expensive. totally not what the answer is I feel, but I like it.

NanimeW in a bit~ I'm just procrastinating on getting ready.

I kind of love this icon.
also, I love you guys. ♥ I can't say music saved my life, but you guys have definitely made it far better.

to celebrate having money, I went to Huddersfield on Saturday to see Paws and Junpei. in which I fell in love with Vista, Bioshock, and ate cookies. heard lots of innuendo. had lots of random, pseudo heart-to-hearts.
it's always kind of fun to look back on things with people. we've known each other for three years, which leads to a lot of 'if this had happened-' or 'maybe things would have been different if-', but laughing over it.
and emo porn. I kid you not. setting up Paw's pc, Scott made a folder called 'emo porn' just to show how the folder system worked, and then showed me a site with actual, honest to god, emo porn. rule 34.

-

fencing today was tiring, but I have a Dory to keep me company. also, everyone is really friendly.
[alas, the Chase-lookalike was not there.]

I was going to write this really prentiously emo and bitchy entry about disappointments and expectations, but now, I feel happy again.
I also met the mysterious fourth [fifth] flatmate - apparently the person in room 5 is actually a they and are a couple sharing, and it's their stuff in the lounge. she seems really nice and friendly, so we both had a '\o/ person who likes socialising!' moment. we'll see. we'll see.

-

according to last.fm, apparently last week, I really loved Jesse Lacey [singer of Brand New] - 141 plays, when usually my highest artist for a week is around 50? oops.

-

( more on transformers. )

dear god, I cannot work out how to pay my fees. =_= or pay for my internets. but! should have internet in my room soon, so I'll stop posting these really quick entries.

I'm watching a lot of House at the moment, and it's actually really good. plus, I'm developing a theory that my favourite characters are always the pretty boys. [plus, I'm sure I used think Jesse Spencer was cute way back in the day.]

saw people at the weekend, and proved I have ridicolous luck with gachapon and pokemon cards. however, none of those were for me. I also brought hideously cute tshirts. there were also lulz.

there's interesting fic being posted all over the place, but I might go look at freshers fair, since the freshers are taking over the computer lab. plus, I meet pina in an hour, and go to annoy sophie at the stall too.

♥


...I played stepmania last night. weird.

I don't want to try and get through my friends page. D:

um. I mean, HI. I'm in Manchester, it's awesome and I don't have the internet. until monday. let me tell you, my face is emo.
considering I've only been back since Saturtday afternoon, I've actually soon a whole load of people. went to Bob, Steve and Dave's housewarming and saw most of mujs [and some pirate porn, omgwtfbbqDONOTWANT] and saw Sophie yesterday and went over to her house. she lives with Katie, Jade and Chloe. so we watched some dvds [including Lucky Number Slevin, which is awesome.] the only problems are that I'm not eating properly, I have no idea about my flatmates, and the no internet. we're in the Whitworth cluster at the moment, but I might see how much my main building is open.

so hi hi. how are you?

Today is a good day apart from one thing. which I shall address first.
my freaking hair straightners are broken and give me static shocks. this is obviously the reason why I was half an hour late.

However, clothes. glee glee. I have a black tshirt with white headphones on [with a little cord to a drawn on pocket], a grey shirt with rainbow stripes, a blue hoodie with rainbow hearts and socks. For the grand total of £14.50. I also have other assorted junk like snacks for the weekend. and Cherry Tango. blisssss.
although, I'm wearing the one tshirt under the other, and i don't know if it looks okay. I love layering tshirts, but my mother says it looks bad. so, who knows.
also, I spent most of this afternoon with one of my favouritest people in the world!
...and did I mention mychem, bitches? aha.
Panic make me happy. just, ugh, how are you so pretty?

oh god, i am so tired. and it will only get worse.

so basically, I will see you all on Sunday evening! me [and most of my flist based in England, i think] are heading to Tokonatsu. an anime con. in a field. \o/ I'll have my phone on me, so text me if you need me, aha. and I'll probably make a phone post.
catch you on the flip side.

I seem to keep doing this - ending up coming home from things a day early. But hey, s'all good.

Yesterday evening was spent with Alan, Bob and some other guy from mujs who I don't remember. There were intense discussions on Disney films. srs bsns. After they left, me and Alan listened to music and talked about random things - in which it was concluded that drama follows me. And also, considering Alan was all 'oh no, don't think I'll be up for doing much in the evening, I have to be up early on Sunday' - he ended up kicking me out around 5am. Manchester is fantastic around then though. Kind of grey and empty, which is weird.
Sunday, met up with Sophie and trailed around various houses. Namely, the house of Sophie, Katie, Jade and Chloe, and the house of Alan and other people who I don't actually know. Ended up getting the train to Birmingham with Sophie, because its more fun travelling with other people. I love that girl. So basically, we talked and did puzzles for a couple of hours, and then parted ways, cause she still had to get to Bristol.
But as always, deep conversations with Sophie and Alan leave me kind of pensive.
you can never say never, but there's a time where you have to face the facts, and sometimes, something are just not meant to be. at least, not at this moment in time.

Also, my sleeping pattern is thrown off by staying up until 6am.

I've been wondering how to say this for a while. Because I'm actually afraid that if I say, 'hey, these people I've met are really great people!' that people will go 'um, hey, what about us? we are good friends too!' And while thats true, it's just... I'm not entirely sure, really. This year has been the first year I've really made friends at uni. Sophie, Alan, Dory, Katie. And it's kind of, well, huh. Just trying to get used to it. It really means a lot to me.
somehow, part of me is still waiting to be told to go away.

I just want September, I guess,

If anyone wants to get hold of me this weekend, text me, okay? I'll have no net access until Monday afternoon. Also, I'm missing Doctor Who, oh noes. But we have this super awesome tv thing that records it for me. Sunday should be fun, but Saturday will be mostly just washing clothes and actually getting to Manchester. And Monday is totally about getting back to Sutton.
Also, I'm somewhat amused at how similar mine and dogmop's music tastes are. We were talking about festivals and the bands playing, and getting excited over the same things, heh.

I'm also thinking about when I go back. I'm tempted to turn up with blonde hair with blue and pink extensions [okay, you have no idea how much i want that to happen, because blue! blue hair and me do not talk often.] and one blue eye and one green. why? Because I'm a dork, duh. [I'd also like to be fitter, but that one will take a while.]
I'm also kind of toying with the idea of moving back earlier - nearer to the start of September as opposed to fresher's week, which is nearer the end. Mainly because I think most of the others should be back? Still won't be much to do, but getting myself settled. Maybe start swimming more.

Serenity still kind of hurts to watch. But the outtakes are awesome.
However, I'd really like high quality caps of the series, I have a craving for a Simon and River layout.

I'd still like to know why England have a player who isn't too good at Twenty-20 opening. But hey, we won. [also, Warwickshire are top of the table for our division, awesome. clear by 4 points, awesome x 2.]
...Yes, I'm a girl who rather likes cricket, I'm a freak of nature, ahah.

I also realised something, maybe it's the whole, y'know, knowing I won't see him until September, added in with the radio silence... um, well, it's easier to deal with.
[you can say 'he's a gentleman' all you like, doesn't change the fact that he just might not like me like that.]

[the other day, we were talking about a boy I used to like. like seriously. it's somewhat ironic that he's gay and rather emo now. tuesday, he gave me a hug and said he hadn't seen me for many years. whatever, it was a year.]

I so totally love my friends, okay? ♥

I never knew I had so much stuff. There's no room to move around in here, and about a third of my stuff is still in Manchester. And it's the bulky third, with my bean bag, a vacuum cleaner and most of my shoes. Although that just means a pair of sandals, a pair of boots, two pairs of trainers of various degrees of rattiness and my not-so-nice consverse. I brought home a pair of slippers and the cons on my feet. Man, I suck at having shoes. I do want those pinstriped cons though.

I got really upset packing up today. I mean, I'm so glad to be out of that place. But it's the whole... um, well, what it means, I guess. It feels like I've just found my place - I'm not as close as they all are already, but they don't mean to leave me out, I think, so I don't mind - but now it's summer. And plus all the stress with my mother not being in a good mood with me.

Over dinner, we talked about wikipedia, google and the internet. My dad told me a story about one of the fourth year projects my brother is looking over, where someone quoted wikipedia as a reliable source for an academic paper. Heh.

Irc is still fucking me over.


really, I'm still expecting people to tell me to shut the fuck up.

So um. Yeah. That's my second year over. Weird.

Met up with Dory, Alan and Jason to have noodles [and tempura for me, cause I was hungry and it's so good] although the waitress seemed to hate us. Huh.
We went and sat in the park for a bit, which is always nice.

And now it is NanimeW. Nom nom.

[This is a retardly short entry. Huzzah.]

[someone said, 'wow, you have friends now.']

Three down, one to go! It went... okay?

After, ended up hanging around with Jonny, John, Mark and Commodore in the union and then back to John and Mark's for a bit for gaming. Two people on the PS3, 2 on the 360, s'all good. Seriously, ended up being a right laugh. Commodore has no shame and almost gave himself whiplash staring after girls, especially considering his 'technically-sort-of-maybe-possible' girlfriend. Also, he jumped on Jonny's back when we were walking up Oxford Road, and Jonny like... threw him over his shoulder. Like you see in some martial arts.
Many funny things.

It's also way too hot at the moment. well obviously not now, but today has been too warm. Considering I spent most of it hiding inside the union.

When did summer get here, guys?

-

( movie soundtrack meme )

I'm full of copy pasta today, because the internet is amusing me.
The biggest problem in computing in the future will be that there are only 17,000 Three Letter Acronyms.

Are these cats talking, or are we just 'lol' at ourselves?
...an article. On CAT MACROS.

Oh internet. I adore you so. ♥

I have a ribbon around my wrist, and I'd love anyone who understood the reference.
Somewhat related, I can't stop listening to this song. And Carpal Tunnel of Love. Although as always, wtf with the screamo. It always seems so random.

I may have gotten Keith into shit with his girlfriend. Err, oops. [Keith is my ex on the same course as me. We hang around and gossip and I attack him with make up. Most of our year either think we are still dating or will get back together. I have my no going back to exes rule for a reason. And plus, ahaha, we make way better friends. And I'm totally not attracted to him anyway.] Basically, I got bored and made him go to Burger King with me, and then I was making him listen to some music. And when he got back, she was waiting there for him. ...She lives in York. Um, yeah.

dogmop looks amusing in wigs, true story. I am vaguely pathetic but enjoy taking photos.

My computer is so laggy. And I am hungry. Hmm. Should probably do something about that.

So, it went from being a very good day... to somewhat mediocre. Then back to good again.

Met up with Pina, Sophie, Helena and some other random people to see At World's End.
( so thus, spoilers. )

-

And then there was ddr whoreage, and finding out that the Body Shop in the Trafford Centre doesn't have it either! Which sucks. And ddr kills me dead. As always.

We headed back into the city centre to mooch around hmv and bitch about their music classification - because, seriously! Fall out Boy and Panic are not metal! I can just see all the metal heads weeping in pain. Watched some odd breakdancers, and met up with Sophie to go find the others and eat noodles.

...The noodles were good! Ahaha, that's all I can say.

We wandered around a bit, and ended up in the Footage, where there was much randomness. Including talking about lj and the internet. Oh yeah, we're that cool. That basically made me feel quite a bit better about things, because I have this tendency to clam up when I'm nervous, and I get more nervous around some people. Which sucks. So yeah, ahah, thanks Alan :D
Also, lemon Fanta is overpriced, and it's really cold in here. This is probably a cue for me to bury myself in my nice thick duvet and sleep. Especially since my dad is coming to pick up my stuff tomorrow. Oops.


Even though things happen that I'm not pleased about, even if I keep messing things up, life keeps moving on, and I think that's a good thing. It means I'm not trying to dwell on my shortcomings as much. It never takes me much to feel good again.
I can't say music has saved my life, but it's certainly made it a lot more bearable.

Um, wow. I used to be so freaking emo, what, ahah. I can get pretty down and attention seeking true, but nothing to that degree. Whoa. At least old journals make me think 'what a much nicer person I am now!' Because believe me, this ain't as half as bad as it's been.