kthxrawr

( you're not supposed to fly anymore. )

-

my layout is smex.

Today went from okay to mildly meh to pretty good again.
It was Bex's aborted picnic turned pub crawl despite the fact it was kind of sunny, aha. Good to see some familar faces, but everyone was pretty cool to be honest. Got a little down after trying to work things out for next weekend - spending an evening in an empty flat is really not in my idea of a good time - but people are awesome and cheer me up. Ended up walking around town with Hope and Vanesha and then going to the cinema. I have never before been in a cinema where the employees are so chatty, haha. Spent a bit of time sitting outside talking to Hope before my dad gave us a lift home.

Also, I kind of liked my hair today. I'm at the stage where it's really too long for me too like - and this is just below shoulder length. If only it stayed straight. So it went in two tiny ponytails and I straightened my fringe. That probably need cutting as well.

My plans for next weekend are still up in the air. Eh.

I was writing comment!fic and thought 'wow, I've written so much' and it turned out to be just under 600 words. aha, oh well.

The puppies are in the doghouse, literally. They got my mother's handbag and [always]Indy threw up because he's greedy. [he's alwaysIndy becaus it is always Indy! the only pup that can't climb on the haybales and the one who always gets picked on by the others and does the silly things, it's always Indy.]

The other day, we went on a walk through a field with the puppies. And you know, I never really realised how close I live to the countryside.


sometimes, 'it's going to be okay' is the reason I keep going.

So, um, haha, thanks computer. You lulled me into a false sense of security... and are actually still broken. Which means... on and off again, mended computer for birthday.
At least I should get my hoodie and tshirt sooon. Soon-ish.

We ended up going out to dinner two nights in a row. I feel spoilt. We went to the fish restaurant down the road which is always good. Although my dad tried to walk in the wrong door, people were making fishy jokes and my mother didn't enjoy her food. And we talked about programming over dinner.

Okay, a few summers okay - two years, to be precise - a woman at the stables asked me how old I was, and was super surprised I was 18. She thought I was 14.
When I said it was my birthday tomorrow, she said she thought I was 18.

It's maybe too warm to sleep. Or I'm too tired.

I seem to be off all over the place in the next few weeks. Possibly going to London on Sunday, then Bex's birthday the weekend after, then back up to Manchester. July is relatively empty, then it's a month of awesome - Tokonatsu, Amecon and Reading. Then I'm back at uni. And who knows?

So yeah, weekend was pretty awesome. With a minor side of fail. As those spammed with texts [ahah, Loki] might know, there was a replacement bus service from Sheffield to Stockport. So what should have taken about one and a half hours... took 3. I was getting a little fed up of my music by then XD
But mainly, fantastic. Headed off down Derby Friday evening, and met up with everyone to go to Mosh. Which I adored, ahah. Especially since they played one of my [many] requests. If only they'd played Camisado as well, but... I kinda said that earlier. :P
Had a nice lie in on Saturday, and then headed into Derby for foods >3 and random shop mauling and Starbucks. And films of great lol. And... really traumatizing statements about magic carpets.
And today, got picked up by my parents to go have dinner, get mauled by puppies, emo over my phone and get back on the same train that goes from Derby... a stop earlier.

So. Lent. Even with the whole not being religous thing. Maybe an effort to stop drinking coke and eat healthier, and exercise at least one a week. Twice if clubbing counts. Heh. And try and talk to people more. Start making an effort. Because I do kinda suck at that kinda theme.

...And guess what? I like emo. Keep those sides of beef away from me plz. This is just the music I like, and the kind of clothes I like. ...I'm still pretty hyper. So yeah. No beef.

One day, I'd really love just grab a group of friends, a car, some good music and drive in the night. Because there's something so fantastic about being out in the night. The motorways are all washed out and empty, and country roads are just... darkness.
...Being poetic doesn't suit me me much, anyway. Plus, everyone normally hates my music.

And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Well, I'm afraid that I...

Okay, I'm pretty much loving Infinity On High. Apart from This Ain't A Scene, but you knew that. I want a mini shopping spree yesterday - brought Infinity on High, some new underwear and stuff [omg emo pants :D].

'we are backstage at civic hall in wolverhampton - a city outside of london.'
...Uhhh, what? Haha. Although, as Ellie pointed out, for some Americans, anywhere that isn't London is outside of it. I'm still giggling over this a little.

Emo music is bad for me, it makes me giggly. It doesn't make me emo, just hyper. Hyper is a bad thing, because I have stories stuck inside my head, and I can't get them out. Which makes me sad.
Although I'm making schemes and extracting promises from people to come with me the next time bands tour. I'm crazy like that.

I did go to the doctors, finally. And everything is moderately sorted - the diagnosis is that everything will be better if I lose weight. So I need to really look into judo or karate or something already. But it all kinda works out, I would like to feel better about what I look like. Although - 34FF? Booya. That's always an ego boost, right.

So, oh yeah. It's been a great weekend.

[oh wait, there's the crash.]

...I'm going to laugh at myself now, because I am so goddamn emo. :3 I love myself. ♥

Christmas :0

Been spending most of the last few days cleaning like crazy, along with last minute shopping, wrapping presents and visiting my Nan in hospital. So crazy fun. Or not. Ha. Got my hair dyed yesterday, so photos shall come after Christmas. And the puppies are mad.

I still don't feel that Christmasy yet. Don't know why, but it doesn't feel right. But a lot of people feel like that I guess. I'm more excited about Maple, hehe. Finally level 45. Although the 2x exp, it does nothing.

Tomorrow will be crazy, and I must find shirt with no dead things on. So I think the 'giggle like a killer' and the 'wanna play?' shirts are also out.
Hmm, getting sleepy. Pity I have midnight mass.

( msn is amusing, no? )

[This entry began at 10am. I procrastinate on procrastinating.]
asdkj. Tireds.

But, what's that you say? Aren't you meant to be in Scotland?
...I left the con early. I really didn't want to, but in a way, I did. My bed + boyfriend + being able to do my work = better than con? Sanj's floor isn't that comfortable, heh. And at least this way I can have a day of hitting java with a stick without being 'omg streesssss' tonight. It felt like Sunday yesterday anyway.
I left my heart in Scotland. Emo face. I'm also getting the 'zomg teeth' feeling, which means maybe my wisdom teeth are finally coming through?

So, the con. It seemed... empty. Was super cool to see everyone, and I made Steve happy with his poster. I love Neko lots, and I love Iso on days that end with e. Pinali is great fun on train journeys, and Monopoly kills my phone dead. Loui's hair is awesome, and mujs people scare me. Tegan and Jordan are several kinds of awesome but they knew that already, right? And I enjoy pulling scary faces at Eli.

[I'm seeing how many people are fooled by my 'in Scotland really' name. Heh.] [Curses! I was foiled! At... like 5pm, I've been back since yesterday.]

Now is the ever perplexing question of - when do I go home? Heh. It will all depend on if the uni ever pays me - if they do, I have £30 worth of food + what money I actually have. Which isn't that much, but it's enough. And plus can't really see Steve much over the actual break, so proper time with him would be cool. I'm a sap, sue me. I'll talk to my dad tomorrow, he's giving me my blankie and my advent calender.

And guess what! Soon! It will be mine. All mine, my precious. I have wantes this so long. Emo face. And also, I'm eyeing up those Snow Patrol shirts too. Heh.

...Okay. Today wasn't too productful, but I'm kinda glad I did come home, I guess. *shuns you all*

...I really hate groupwork.
It's been said that I don't work well with others. I try to. I'll smile, I'll do what other people tell me to, I'll point out the dumb little things that people get confused over, I try and be nice. :D
But sometimes... ugh.
So yeah! Story time! :3

An Electronic Engineering Story of Woe.
or, why Sarri really really hates everyone else.

Okay. We have to do this circuit simulation thing for our groupwork tutorial. One of my group volunteers me and her to do it. ...Not that she actually asked me. We say we'll meet Sunday evening and I hope she means earlyish. She also says she has the notes and labs from last year.

Sunday evening rolls around, and I feel shit. My eye has been going bloodshot, I had a really awful nights sleep and I feel kinda sick. I'm about to give up, when she's 'Oh! 7.30 - 8 ok?' I'm a doormat. I say yes. An hour or so later, she decides she's going out and we'll meet at 8.30. At this point, I say I feel really shit and I'm just not going to be able to stay awake that long. 'But,' she says, 'I can't actually do any of this!' So yes. She basically says we'll do it so she gets credit. [I'm not denying that she hasn't done a lot of good research, just... don't say you'll do something you have no intention of doing!] She says she'll meet me when she's finished eating. I go over, only to find... she doesn't have those notes. End up phoning another guy in the group who does have them, and we say we'll go get them in the morning and skip that lecture. I tell her that really, there's no need for us both to go, it really only needs one person to do it, and I'm okay doing it on my own, but she says she'll come in and try and feel useful.

So, this morning, she leaves me a message telling me to go get the notes off this guy, and she'll meet me 'about 9' in the computer labs. I turn up at the start of the lecture, he's not there, so rather than try and sneak out of a lecture halfway through, I go to the computer labs to try and see if the notes are somewhere in the shared file stuff. But fortunately, I find a simulation from last year that I can change a bit. The other guy texts me at 9.10 asking where I am, I tell him it's ok and I've got the notes. And so much for about 9, she turns up at half past. By this time, I've altered the circuit and all I need is one bit of data which she could have texted me.

...And you know what? It was the wrong circuit. :D In the tutorial, I basically said that I hadn't realised about why we needed the other one, and our tutor was 'Surely it was a group decision?' ':D;;; I don't know so I'll just take the blame.'

The kicker is that we all got marked 'excellent' for our tutorial when we gave him the wrong circuit, and that I'm now somehow group leader.
Doom, I tell you.

===

And if you hadn't guessed by that, I feel... crap. :3;; My dad gave me Chinese money again, and it feels somewhat wasted. The soup was gorgeous, the starter selection... kinda greasy. And huge bag of prawn crackers? @_@;; And it was expensive too ;___;
But now I don't need to buy food until the weekend, which is good 8D;; However... seeing the Threadless $10 sale is bad.

My eye does keep turning pink, and I'm so tired... I love it how my insomniac group memember is like 'You're always sleeping like 8pm!' I need sleep, k. >_>;; I generally need a lot of sleep. I can't cut it on 2 hours or so unless I'm overloading with caffiene or guaranteed to have a good night's sleep or nap later.
And... I think I should be along to the doctors fairly soon, probably. XD It's not good.

It's also getting to the point of 'ohshitohshitcoursework'. ♥

I have decided I want to dye my hair candy apple red. It'll be cute. I just... need the dye now.

[I love how the first bit of my entry has barely any smilies, then it's like 'WHOA SMILIE OVERLOAD'.]

This song is about cheating. ._.;; It's obvious now, but... .______.

For someone who was in such a good mood yesterday... yeah. The emo has struck.

Yesterday, lots of pool was played. And everyone was quite surprised when I actually potted a ball. ...Mark and John still won every game. But yeah, haha, that was fun. Attacking people with pool cues, tring to put people off and unintentionally gay statements. 'You guys always come from behind, so I thought I'd try it once.' '...*blank stare*...' And some point after, I hung around with Iso wwaiting for his train and beign scared by the people in Fanboy 3.

But today should be good. Right? Muse? *goes back to sleep*

I just want to tell everyone to fuck off today. I don't really care.

Fuck all of this.

I think it's all coming to a logical conclusion.

Which... kinda hurts a bit. But you know, I think it's for the best.

...In other words, hugs plz.

===

Meme. :D


1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
4a. Favorite Book:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

>___>;; Is being anti-social bad? There's a barbeque downstairs that's been running since 2, and I just don't want to go down. u_u;

I'm shy. Sue me. Or shoot me.
*carries on hiding*

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Iso~~ you spam whore. And I'm sure if I totalled up people's different ljs... they'd beat him >_> maybe.

===

Good news. I PAID FOR AUCHI. Um, yah, last September. But I have the proof in my grubby little paws.
And my cousins stress me out.

...Agh! Even more uni stressage. So like, our shiny, shiny registrations opens tomorrow. GUESS who doesn't have a new id number already? >_>;; So yes. Suck suck. And my id card still hasn't turned up. -__-

And for kicks. I am so bloody fed up being here.

===

Pick one word from each pair that you think describes me the best and leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock
* brains or brawns
* common sense or book smarts
* pretty or sexy

I live. Shock, horror, etc, etc.

Lala~ what have you missed?
I have a new layout, still with dodgy link colours. >_>
Me, Ellie and Tegan had a spectacularly fun sleepover with Buffy, Firefly, Scream, Dogma and Superman.
My boyfriend came to visit.
Snakes on a Plane.
Boyfriend leaving.
Black and White love. ♥

Wow, a whole week summed up so easily. >_>;;;

But uni creeps ever nearer, which makes me think many things. Like, I should really stop being so lazy and WORK. And I really need to get in shape. And buy new clothes. [I love Animal's stuff. So damn cool.] Write stuff. [One fic-gift, one possible submission for SMS's anthology and anything else floating in my brain. Fic is equal parts love and death.] And figure out what's going on in that pretty little head of mine.
I've been making plans, and none of them really involve one person. Maybe that's been the issue? I don't know.

And music is love. :333 Anyone who gets the reference [which none of you will. >0! damn you all.] I will love you forever. [All the more self-love, eh? ;D]

That is my cue to sleep.

8 days. Like The Ring but more messed up. [Tokonatsu.]

Yesterday Thursday was kinda good, kinda bad. Laser quest was great fun, bar the fact I've now got a scrape on my arm. TT-TT And the shiny shiny fans. X3 They're pretty cool. Although they give me headaches. A lot of stuff gives me headaches atm. XD;; Also, sitting in the park was way cool. Proving that me and Snaj talk far too much XD and everyone else is too quiet XP But yeah~ Let's do that at Toko. And Mario minigames. I am the master of Wanted. XD

( emoemoemo. )

Snakes on a Plane!

And for even more kicks, the Snakes on a Plane song!

I want to cry. I applied for Sainsburys... like, over a month ago? And put I wanted temporary work down. They wanted me to go for an interview.

Then said no after they realised I wanted temporary work.

...I swear it was on my form. >_< The 'working from - until' dates >_<;;; I almost had my hopes up then.

Ummmm, when did I decide Orlando Bloom was hot again? D:

Today I made cookies, found out my [not mine but sssh] horse had been fighting and is all battered, and watched Lord of The Rings. Squeeage. I want icons.

Saturday - first, I went and kicked Sanj, and all was good. All went to Nostalgia, and Hiccu brought me a Sakura model. X3 And then to Chinese, where me and Hiccu realise - omg, we eat too much of that stuff. I win, cause I am greedy and can eat more than everyone else. However, since it was now time for me and Acid to go get a bus, we went and did so. Or tried to. Damn bus was 25 minutes late. xD But Tegan's dad saved the day.
Dance show = winwinwin. X3 You're too cute, Tegan. But so hot in there! o_O And also, I owe lots of people money for toko. XD After, we just sat outside for a bit, until Tegan needed to go back, and me and Acid skeddadled back to town, with a Junpei and Lon sighting. :D then I got to DDR, and I'm happy. DDR always makes me happy, yo. Hung around in one pub for a bit, ate nachoes :D which everyone stole D: Bad Snaj! And Hiccu and Snaj talked of Auchi threesomes and I was scared ;_; I will take a taser to bed with me. Everyone wanted to do Tequila shots, so we went to the Flapper, but they had no lemons either. xD So straight Tequila. o_o;; I drank Hiccu's too. >_> And then all went home! :0 But I talked to Sonnet, and it was fun.

I feel so... bittersweet, I guess. xD I don't get it myself much, but like... things that really hurt have been brought to the surface, and I can't get closure. And I just feel all sorts of sad at times. I want those days back.

I also really really want it to be next term already. Nice flat k. And boyfriend? ...Holy crap I still have a boyfriend. xDDD 9 months k. And actually, I want to really begin taking my course seriously.

How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep. That have taken hold.

Haiku2 for sarri_chan
emem d htiw nuf dah yllautca i hguohtla emih emalb lla
@ aboutmylife.netblogger.comblogs.gnome.orgblogspot.comdeadjournal.comgreatestjournal.comlivejournal.commyspace.comspaces.msn.com
Created by Grahame

Haha. Yay.

Oh god, I ache. xD Went riding yesterday, and it was fun, if a bit... interesting. One of the horses is a bit uncontrolable, but Banner was pretty good. :3 Although he did decide he just wanted to go towards the end. @_@;

I have vague cosplays for Toko and Auchi. Which will be looked into tomorrow. >3 Ghetto 2 week cosplays ftw, yo.

Wednesday was Jordan's birthday. So a group of us met up, had food and went to the cinema. And then me and Catherine walked to her car. I do love commandeering her for my own nefarious purposes. XD But o_o The film was so much better the second time.

Plus film = icons = yay. Hee. <3

I was going to have a deep and meaningful ramble about Pirates but I read some others which really made me think, so yah.

And my Citzencard fee finally went through! ♥

Ugh, I just feel somewhat bitter about a load of stuff. What hope is there anymore for even 'best' friends?
I just want something to do, dammit. XDD Suppose I can always make a layout. :P

[.edom sdrawkcab-non ni enod eb lliw emeM D: .siht htiw nuf dah yllautca I ,hguohtlA ~.^ .nahc-emiH emalB]

*lla rof sehctircs*

D: .epotosI gnitsop rof snlap dna gnippohs raewrednu ,yalpsoc rof ,keew txen okeN ees ot og osla I

!yadhtrib si yad 1 + retfa keew eht dnA !revo eb lliw smaxe yM !keew txen emit siht dnA

.desseug evah thgim uoy sa ,elpaM 3< .ton thgim ,elpaM yalp thgim I tuB D; .eciohc elpitlum yay, morromot avaJ

irraS si eman yht ,ycoidI .setunim 51 tuoba rof eciton t'ndid I .gnikrow deppots dah to dna ,reverof ni emit tsrif eht rof hctaw ym erow I

.doog saw ti dnA .3 neM-X was [:D >htieK ...sekil ehs, reh sekil eh >_> yrots gnol] lrig modnar emos dna zamlA dna htieK dna me ,dnekeew eht tA.

0: .etnaM a was dna [yldab] deRDD osla I .steg retsop nerdlihC tnevdA dnA !syay ,osla teksaB stiurF 333< .esrevnoC knip ,mmM .gnippohs tnew I oS .dab saw maxE

[.ereh trats oy mU]

Loki is emo.

Really, he just said so.

Let's have some good and some bad. Okay, not much bad.

Snow Patrol - Eyes Open is good. This is a wonderful, brilliant album. >_> I love it. There's some songs that I haven't really taken to yet, but there's four or five that I love and adore. Strangely enough mostly about 'this relationship is fucked up, but I still love you.' Awww. :3 [And crap, Snow Patrol are touring. I may have to consult teh boy. Because... this may mean. I will see the two bands on ym 'omg see' list this winter.]

Muse - Supermassive Black Hole. I want to like it cause, hey, Muse! But... it doesn't sound like Muse. Therein my problem. I'm sure it'd be ok if it wasn't Muse. But... I may be coming around. [I just like going 'IT SUCKS' it seems.]

Shopping makes me gleeful. I have 'roar' pajamas. Um, how cool is that?

...Revision. Oh noes.

And I might have hayfever. ;D

===

Here's an emo
There's an emo
And a little furry emo
Slutty emo, girly emo
Emo, emo, KICK.

===

And also, in other news. MY BIRTHDAY, BIATCHES.
Okay two things. One, on my birthday, there'll be a small thing in Birmingham, with food, and ddr, and shopping for converse, and then going back to mine for... movies? Anime? Ultimate lols? Being terrorized by small children? Who knows.
Saturday, a meet. Of meetlike proportions.
Just comment, k. >_>;