kthxrawr: (Default)

[personal profile] kthxrawr


jump start my kaleidoscope heart

already out of foolproof ideas


[i know you want to run away.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - pretty. odd.)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
we can has house? )

my god, I totally cannot wait. Chloe and Katie are going to talk more to the landlord tomorrow so. we'll see. there's a few little issues like storage space for the back room, but it can be worked around.

-

'Pretty. Odd.', huh?
Panic make me gleeful, if not bemused by their punctuation. but hey, just release the goddamn uk dates already.
I'm eyeing the window of time between the Europe mainland dates and the Honda Civic dates hopefully. June is too far away.
I might have to try and convince Katie she wants to see them, haha. but I already have a list of 3 people to go with.
but oh god. I am so looking forward to this. I've been checking the website daily, moreorless, to see the updates on the puzzle.
also, disappearing exclamation marks ftw.

-

last night was fun, if not slightly bemusingly awkward, in the best possible way.
good nights always end with wet converse and static in my ears.

-

I feel detached from situations.
this isn't my life defining moment. or does it define my life by saying that?
my logic is always circular.

-

I have my Skullcandy headphones. ♥
they're green and shiny and awesome.

[apparently nothing at all.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - jon - headphones)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
do you ever feel as if you've suddenly stepped into someone else's life?
you have what you want - now what do you do?

some days I'd like to look at how things look from the outside. see how the pieces fit.
life looks different when you take a step back.

how far do you have to step back though? we're all entangled to a point. linked by promises and secrets and regrets and he-said-she-said.

how do we know what is doomed to fail?
but wouldn't that just be the easy way out? looking at things beforehand, weighing up pros and cons, deciding if it's worth it in the end?
we make what we will of life. there is no meant to be, no perfect ending. we make each other into what we think we need.
even if I knew the outcome, would I jump in headfirst anyway?

I don't want to believe in things being predetermined, in the idea of soulmates, in the idea of being one special person for me.
what happens if you mess up that chance?
it's self preservation, it's wanting to believe I won't mess up.

maybe it's just from where I'm standing, I seem kind of prone to messing up.

my livejournal was five years old the other. five years of my random thoughts. how much have I [haven't I] changed?
also pretty close to 2000 entries.
some days, it scares me how dependent I am on this thing.

if only my thoughts could be where they needed to be.