kthxrawr

ugh, one of my friends is pissing me off.
okay, so last year - I spent a lot of time in lectures with Jonny, John and Mark since we had a few more lectures together than I did with Keith. so we'd end up sitting around and eating lunch too. and I know they can be kind of bitchy. but to be honest, they're like that with everyone. but they don't like Keith so much.
towards the end of the year, we started talking to a couple of other guys - Mel and Paul - who are okay, even if Paul is a little creepy.
and now this year - I have one lecture with Keith, Mel and Paul, who have more lectures together that I don't have. I wouldn't mind if it didn't coincide with Keith start acting like a bitch. leaving bitchy anonymous comments on facebook calling me 'a wannabe emo' [there are so many levels of wtf to that]. clearing rubbish off a table and someone says 'oh. just chuck it all over there.' and he says 'and her too?'

maybe I'm being oversensitive.

the emo thing. I don't know. it's the wannabe part of it. I am not ashamed to say I like what is classed by most people as emo music. [genre debate another day plz.] I kind of like some of the emo fashions, but not necessarily on myself. the whole androgynous scene kid thing - yeah, I think that's kind of fucking cool, to be honest. I kind of wish I could get away with it. I call myself the happiest emo. it's a joke. I don't mind people saying I'm an emo.
but, like I said, it's the wannabe thing that gets me. the implication that I'm a failure at being an emo.

[waw waw wa~w]

[appropriate icon? keywords: hate is a strong word but- i really really really don't like you.]

-

in other news, worlds are interconnected, fencing is made of misheard phrases and I am permanently about ten minutes behind everyone else.
I've had my first two labs of the year, and they went okay. even if one of them I had someone who did the course last year helping me. ahaha.

have I mentioned I'm hideously materialistic at times? like, I'll go out to see people, and I'll always come back with something. when I met up with Tegan and Nik last week, it was NME and two cds. today, when I went to swap ds games with Nik, it was some skin toner, two sparkly lip glosses and some hair products. sparkly hairgel, people. SPARKLES. plus, I kind of love the smell of Shockwaves hair products. I have this wax mousse that I swear smells like apples.
how can I resist?

[things I buy too many of: notepads, pens, lip glosses, cds, pants.]

I had a really randomly nostalgic moment this afternoon. I had my window wide open, and was just looking at the pink clouds, even though the streetlight was already on, and couldn't actually see the sunset. I love being in a city, but at times, I like being around here. like, we're just on the edge of the suburbs really - you don't have to go very far to find fields. and a quarry. ...I never figured that one out either.

I'm going to miss the puppies like whoa - when it comes down to it, I've been walking them every day, and feeding them most days at least once. I won't miss the crying whenever we leave them alone, like when we eat. [they're kept in their bed then, to stop them begging at the table/sofa.] I'm gonna miss my parents a bit too. [I miss my brother like a hole in the head. he's not the worst, but he's not the best.]

but... yeah. I can't wait to get back. I think. although, it'll will be better once everyone is back.

tomorrow will be all go. I have most of my washing to do, and all of my packing. and figuring out how to compress my notes. or something. because for some reason, my mother wants me to take them all back. guh.

and lj is no longer going 'no u' at my layout. thank god.

[I'm not sure if my fandom amuses me or makes me feel sad or makes me feel happy. all that's to be said really - the bassist from MSI is hot.]

...maybe I'll, like, go play maple.

( you're not supposed to fly anymore. )

-

my layout is smex.

I really don't understand this, lately I just feel really happy. although this is the day after I realised I have an honest-to-god emo fringe when I straighten my hair.
[it might have something to do with Ryan Ross. his happy face makes me happy.]

but oh god, at least two people last weekend thought I was 17. bwaha. [and a 17 year old looked 19, and a 13 year old looked 21.]

I'm also loving brand new far, far too much.

and the puppies [are almost no longer puppies] ate my parents' wedding photos.

I still feel kind of gleeful. I'm also making lists, and this is never a good thing.
- another pair of jeans. ugh, I adore these jeans. they're just the right amount of baggy and wahed out and pink and green.
- band t-shirts. I've been eyeing up some Brand New ones.
- a new wallet. preferably a smaller one.
- more MAC makeup. I'm turning into one of those girls who buys expensive makeup.
- a sports bra. for me and Dory plan to go fencing. I mean, man, you totally needed to know that.
the only problem is, I have no idea when my loan is coming in. hay government, I want my free moneh.

I have a feeling there's some dinner I'm meant to be cooking.

So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it.
The quote is from Sunshine [which I babbled about yesterday] and I have to say, I really like this line. It actually made me cry a little at the end.
But you know, I cry super easy in films. I cried a little in Spiderman. Betcha didn't know that.

I was being all 'yeah, gonna be super healthy' and was eating some melon. However, it was actually kind of disgusting, so I had poptarts. Which the toaster didn't eat. :D
However, this means I'm actually rather giggly. If I can turn the giggly into interest in Communication Principles [fucking Fourier Transforms] then it's all good.

I still have no idea what I want for my birthday. It's a toss up between a DS lite and an external harddrive, because it looks like I'm gonna shell out for a permanent account on my own. Because I'm an lj whore.

I also realised how much I talk sometimes. In fact, a lot of the time, conversations involve me talking nonstop. And people never tell me to shut up. Er, oops, haha.

I'm spending a lot of time chewing things. Like those tag things on clothes. Not really tasty, but oh well. I should really cut down my nervous habits, especially since I've started biting my nails again.

When my fringe is straightned/brushed forward, it kind of goes in my eyes. But it's not quite an emo fringe.

Also I changed my layout. :x I was getting a bit bored of the dj. So evil oranges!

[I still have intense not so internal dilemmas. oh, let me tell you internet, I like making life difficult.]

I may as well conclude a list of random statements with a meme. Comment, and I'll tell you why I love you. Or like you. Whatever. ♥

Today, on the other hand, has been a complete write off of a day. I am sniffly, nauseated, headachey, have an itchy eye and have just had a nap.
And I'm about to go back to sleep. :D

[and hay, me bringing an umbrella to London wasn't that stupid, it's raining quite a lot here now. D:]

So yeah, weekend was pretty awesome. With a minor side of fail. As those spammed with texts [ahah, Loki] might know, there was a replacement bus service from Sheffield to Stockport. So what should have taken about one and a half hours... took 3. I was getting a little fed up of my music by then XD
But mainly, fantastic. Headed off down Derby Friday evening, and met up with everyone to go to Mosh. Which I adored, ahah. Especially since they played one of my [many] requests. If only they'd played Camisado as well, but... I kinda said that earlier. :P
Had a nice lie in on Saturday, and then headed into Derby for foods >3 and random shop mauling and Starbucks. And films of great lol. And... really traumatizing statements about magic carpets.
And today, got picked up by my parents to go have dinner, get mauled by puppies, emo over my phone and get back on the same train that goes from Derby... a stop earlier.

So. Lent. Even with the whole not being religous thing. Maybe an effort to stop drinking coke and eat healthier, and exercise at least one a week. Twice if clubbing counts. Heh. And try and talk to people more. Start making an effort. Because I do kinda suck at that kinda theme.

...And guess what? I like emo. Keep those sides of beef away from me plz. This is just the music I like, and the kind of clothes I like. ...I'm still pretty hyper. So yeah. No beef.

One day, I'd really love just grab a group of friends, a car, some good music and drive in the night. Because there's something so fantastic about being out in the night. The motorways are all washed out and empty, and country roads are just... darkness.
...Being poetic doesn't suit me me much, anyway. Plus, everyone normally hates my music.

And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Well, I'm afraid that I...

Ganked from shuraiya~
1 -- Reply to this post!
2 -- I will tell you which of YOUR icons I like the most.
3 -- Then post this to your own journal using YOUR favorite icon.
4 -- That's it! :D

My favourite icon, hmm? Oh wow, that's hard. Because... I love icons. I do actually really like this icon I'm using as my default, it's simple, but I'm quite proud of it. I didn't do much, but oh well.
I also have a soft spot for catbog because dumb injokes are fun.

==

Okay, so in life. It's been a... uh, interesting week. I've had three exams - one went terribly, one went ok, one went excellently [today's, thank god.] and one was cancelled. Because a crane fell into our building? Who knows. It means I do have an exam after we should have finished, which kinda sucks. But as Jonny put it, 'It's a sign, I obviously hadn't revised enough.'

I'm also feeling kinda good about friendships lately, Tuesday night/Wednesday morning when I was being emo about my exam, I had a really good talk with Neko. It gave me a little more faith in my situation - it's not the end of the world, and my friends love me. So yeah... thanks. :3
And also... simply telling me things like 'I'm really busy, I can't talk now.' is something that does mean a lot to me. I hate it when there's that silence there. I'm never going to be offended if you tell me you're busy, in fact, I'll be pleased that you told me, rather than ignoring me.
Also, it's good being almost back at uni. I know I've got to really work this term, but still, I kinda missed everyone. It's funny, since Jonny really sorta is my closest friend at uni. But sitting around in the union before our exam, semi-revising, eating and just talking is fun. Even if Mark is an arse, and I enjoy kicking Jonny.

So yeah, that exam. I'm mostly annoyed at myself, it was a stupid thing to do. But even if I'm off the 4 year course, I can do a Master's and a PhD afterwards. It's not the end of the world. But I have an evening off, and can spend the weekend revising for the next two exams.
I'm thrilled at today's paper. I think I did ok.

I was bad and splashed out a little yesterday, I ended up buying a Winnie the Pooh pencil case set :33333 so cute~ It's bigger than the Hello Kitty one, which is stained, and plus - matching stationary! I'm so 5 years old secretly. Also brought random stuff from Boots [most of it I don't really need] like a set of foot care stuff - it's got a soak, a scrub and some 'foot butter', bwahah - a comb, some new face wash and paracetmol with caffiene in. Silly things, but I do love shopping. Probably gonna save clothing shopping for a while so I have someone to go with, and hopefully when I'm in better shape.
Which reminds me, as time goes on, the hospital date looms closer. Except, I haven't got one yet. I still have to go to the doctors. XD

I've also been talking to my mum a lot this week, which makes me feel all :3333 It's kinda nice to know they'll always be proud of me, and have them reassure me that not staying on the four year course isn't the end of the world. [However, I did figure out that if I did the BEng, then a MSci, and then a PhD, I'd have the most degrees in the family. Booyah. I'd be in uni till I was like, 30 though.]

===

Go watch this video. I like the song, but the video makes me sad. The hugs girl makes me laugh.

There's always one part of Christmas that makes me feel a little... down, I guess. We all go to my cousins' and then my brother dresses up in a Santa outfit and tells everyone that he accidentally delivered some presents to the wrong house. [Yes, it's lame. Even the 4 year old sees through it.] And I get to sit there while my cousins get mountains and mountains of more presents. Like, one got a camcorder already this morning, and another a guitar, and another a snowboard. Wtf, we live in Birmingham. Not much snow here. I'm happy with my presents, I have some fantastic things, it's just... yup, let me sit and twiddle my thumbs for half an hour while they get spoilt. I know it makes me sounds like a brat, oh well.

Other moments of tonight - I am 15, 16, younger than my 16 year old cousin, me and my parents live in Manchester, my hair is ginger. We also went to see my nan, who seems to be getting better. Don't know if she'll be out on Wednesday then. The puppies have a pheasant that sounds like a dog and is adorable. Yet to watch Doctor Who too, oh well. It's the week of Doctor Who spinoffs, what with the Sarah Jane adventures soon too.

Ahaa, the list~
parents:
- Camera *___* I've obsessed and gazed on this camera from afar for the last 6 months, and now it is mine. Hvaing a few quality issues, but hopefully it'll work itself out?
- A creepy little Japanese doll, which apparently means 'lucky flower'. Hmm.
- Hello Kitty watch. It itches.
- Pucca clock
- A polar bear stuffed toy 8D
brother:
- Brand New - Deja Entendu
grandma:
- Teddy bear
- Also, is taking me shopping.
nana:
- A make up bag :/
- Perfume
aunt and uncle the first:
- £20 Amazon vouchers
aunt and uncle the second:
- £30 :D I forsee those velcro trainers!
aunt and uncle the third:
- more perfume, actually smells kinda nice :D
Jordan:
- Hello Kitty game :3;;
Steve:
- plussssshies. But obviously, they are not mine yet.

So here. Photospam.

( puppies! )

So yes, these are our lovely puppies. X3;

===

( visiting my cousins )

===

( haircut and the creepy doll )

My dreams freak me out. I was feeling somewhat weird last night as it was, but now... Kablooey! I hate my head going kablooey. :| So I'm tired and my head is being screwy, I so don't want this right now. But who ever does? Also, why can I never sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend? :|

The java is done! DEFEATED! So yeah, we have a nice nifty casino game that takes all your money. Repeatedly. :3 Alas, if only it was real money. However, since yesterday was Friday 8th December - Signals [ughhh], Digital System Design and Maths are also done. Wait, does that mean Sarri only has two reports left to do this term? Yes it does. :3 Admittedly, one of them is the team project, but it's one credit. It's all looking up now, boys and girls, the end of term is in sight. And my parents should be ordering my camera. :3 Uh wow, anything ordered in the last two years off Amazon has been mine. Wins. For I am brat, hear me rawr.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were spent mostly in computer labs. Wednesday night did have an interlude of Nandos - heaven in chicken form before heading off to the 24 hour cluster. And Thursday night I slept too much. And Friday was just a rush. :| Stressful, but, tis over. Also, you have to love my department's organisation. Second years had 3 computer based courseworks to hand in yesterday... so they close our main lab from 12.30 till 5. And also, take down our intranet with our notes. Well done, EEE. :D But at least you paid me. Although Sainsburys gave me too much change. But after I handed everything in ♥ went straight to Greggs for cakes... Oversleeping + deadlines - money = no food. XD Me and Steve did go to mujs, but Akira sent me to sleep. I'd've liked to stay for FLCL but oh wells~ All their events are even when I have no money or when I'm... at home. D: Did talk to Potato and Lizzy a bit cause we turned up early, which was cool. I dither with my social groups. :/
So today has been a nice lazy day - net and no work is the way life should be. Tomorrow I might actually look at my Microelectronic Components [don't my module names sound so... geeky? xP]

So, by this time tomorrow next week, I'll be home. Christmas always does seem so long, but I'm looking forward to going back. I get to see my friends, the puppies, and of course, my favourite ball of fluff - Banner :D I'm going to miss Steve, but I don't want it to be that big of a deal - i.e. getting uber mopey and emo. Also, I need to revise like hell. I'm also kinda looking forward to my presents. My camera too, since it's not technically a present. But we have to 'negotiate' on when I get it, even though I should be able to pay for it myself. [So! Expect photo spams soon. I forsee my birthday present might be a memory card.] But otherwise, I'm getting money mostly off relatives, and going shopping with my grandma too. There's been some t-shirts I've been eyeing up online... So obviously, I will need more trousers too. Also really looking forward to Steve's present, the plushies will finally be mine...
Talking of Christmas presents~ basically, I'm going to have to buy my presents after my loan comes in, and I shall distribute presents as and when I see you. Unless you're Neko, then it's Toko!Christmas all the way.

Where did everyone get the idea that I am cute? >|
Answers on a postcard.