Sometimes I wonder who I am. I honestly do. Sometimes, it's like there's a different person in control of my body. Like today in English. I orginally wrote two paragraphs which were meant to be about a robot musing on feelings and emotions. It turned into a rant on humanity. And it's really strange, one person said it was philosphical, one person said it made them feel insignificant and one person said I should be on anti-depressants.
I never meant for it to be any of those things. I don't know where it came from whatsoever. Almost as of another personality, another part of me tried to escape through my writing.
I'm not as good a writer as I used to be. I'm more apathetic about ideas I get. I see no real reason to develop them at times. Or eventually, as most things seem to do in my life, the orginal excitement and interestment slowly dull. On that point, it's amazing I've kept this journal going so long. Ten months. It's the longest I've ever kept a journal for. I guess it's because I can express what I feel to other people here. I'm not very good at that doing that in real life. Which brings me back to the original topic. I use writing nowadays to express how I feel. One of my attempts at orginal writing was reflective on how I feel at times. (I got told it had no plot.) Most of the writing I've done in the last six months has been some sort of reflection on how I feel. The piece I wrote called The Doll, for example. That was semi based on my own feelings. And this. At the time, I claimed it was nothing to do with how I felt, but looking back on it, it was and still is.

This post isn't as long as I thought it would be.
Looking back over my old entries, how much have I really changed? My very first entry on DJ was me being depressed. But then again, it was only 5 days after I'd got mugged.
But over the last year, have I changed for the better in any way?
I'd have to say no. Because I can't think of anything I've done over the last year that stands out in a good way.

(I'm not handing the writing mentioned here in. It was for a creative writing assignment. It didn't fit the assignment.)

(And some of this refers to my deadjournal, not this journal. -.-;; I'm crossposting again.)