It's so strange how friendships have shifted over the last year and a half. A year and a half ago, at the start of year 10, if you'd've asked me who my best friend was, I'd have said Tegan and Holly. A year ago, Tegan and Jordan. 6 months ago, Katie and Jordan. Now, Jordan and Becky. So strange how it all changed.

I remember how sad and upset I got when Holly and Tegan ditched us at lunchtime to go RPG in library. That finished off my friendship with Holly. I was angry at Jordan for a while as well. I was so confused at the start of lunch because only Catherine was there. We searched over the school until I looked into the library. And there was Tegan, Holly, Jinx and Jordan, all laughing together. It really hurt. Maybe this was where my paranoia of being abandoned came from.
Tegan did the same thing again with Jinx six months later, about the time I started my DJ. Last June. Wow, I've had my journal for that long. ^^;;; Getting OT... I'm still friends with her, but I could never trust her that much again. She saw how upset I got when it happened before.
I've been good friends with Jordan and Katie for around four or five years. That long.
Over the summer, I started hanging out with Bex more. It was probably the motorbike thing that did it, but we hung out together and had fun.
Around November, because I came to the conclusion around the mocks, I began thinking in depth about things. Exams and bus journeys on my own do that to me. This was the time I realised I liked Jordan. Bex was the first person I told. Admittedly, it was for a tradeoff of information, but I did want to tell her. I needed to tell someone and I trust her. Strangely, my feelings were the thing that drove me away from Katie. She's not very open-minded about gay people IMO. It's just some of the things she's said. And the fact that if I did ever tell her, her reaction could be incredibly negative.

But the friends I have now, Jordan and Becky especially, I don't know what I'd do without them. They're great. I'm such a bitch at times and so far, they've stood by me. You guys are so great. Even though Jordan does make me annoyed at times. ¬.¬
A lot of other people RL are so great as well. Hope, Kirsty, Becky A; all these people who try and cheer me up when I'm down. Some of the things that other people, people I don't count as friends really, have made me smile and touched me lately. When one member of my form (who asked me now to tell Jordan who it was ^^;;;;) heard that my friendship with Jordan made me upset at times and said 'Oh, I never liked her anyway...'... strange, but it helped me smile.
Even my online friends, you help me cheer up and feel better about myself. Some of the bizarre entried and comments and things you say make me smile when I'm down, and it means a lot.


So I guess the point of this entry is to say thank you to everyone. You guys rule, so don't let anyone say any different.