I feel so tired of being nice. which sounds really fucked up, I know.
I've spent the weekend with my brother sniping at me with things like how much he's earning, how he's trustworthy and how intellectual and grown up he is. I mean, of course, totally mature for the person who spent all morning sitting on the sofa watching television while my mother was at work, my dad was ill and I was cleaning the house. I try and be nice, but obviously, I'm just not worth being nice to, right?
I never said I was mature, I just don't pretend I am.
if plans fall through, what else can you do apart from shrug and move on? things have a habit of doing that lately, and it almost feels like I should stop putting my faith in these things.
I don't want to go back to mistrusting everybody [new] that I know. when people say 'let's do this' and actually follow through, it's something that means a lot to me. I'm still partially convinced I'll get back to uni and be in the same situation as last year.
I'd show my heart to anyone who ever gave me five minutes of their time.
I'm just tired of biting my lip.
I'm also really hungry.
- [oh, we're so c-c-c-controversial.]
2007-07-24 12:06 pm (UTC)
Best thing to do is, if it gets too much, get out of there for a while. Spend a day well away from anyone you have to be nice to. Act selfishly for a bit, and do something you want to do because YOU WANT TO DO IT.
2007-07-26 09:55 pm (UTC)
the problem is if I spend a day doing nothing around the house, i get yelled at XD I need to find something that is constructive enough for her likings.