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jump start my kaleidoscope heart

already out of foolproof ideas


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kthxrawr: (Momiji - it's too late)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
Results came... gone...
General Studies: A
Maths: A
Physics: B
Chemistry: B
Further Maths: *incomplete, but currently I have two modules with a C grade...*
>_<;; I'm... angry. Mainly because I got my results and was 'Wow. Better than I'd expected.' Showed them to my mum... And things have just gone downhill. I scored really low on the coursework module for physics [48/100] but made up for it in the exam [95/100, 84/100] so I was quite happy. Coursework is my weak point, it always has been... The Stats was crap as well, but I came out of the S1 exam in tears; I knew I'd done badly.
And what gets me is... Most people I know have done worse, and it's me who is crying and depressed. I've done okay! But... it's not good enough. I hate this so much.

I'm really worried and scared because of this. It's just hit me that in a year... I'll be leaving. And right now... I don't want to know this. Because if - it's still only an if - I'm still in this situation then, I don't know what I'd do.

I just feel so bad, I've had a really crap couple of weeks and it's affecting other people and I hate it so much! But I don't know how to stop it. I just... want to stop hurting people. I'm too insecure and I must stop it.

ETA: My brother just made me cry. He actually said well done. But... I know it's not good enough. Why can't I be happy?
I don't want to go to ame...

(Deleted comment)
Thanks... *hugs for you* You okay?

*hugs tight* sarri-chan.... i wish i could just make everything okay for you. You deserve it you know. AS level results seem to have got everyone down because of bad marks and parents. i feel kinda guilty cos i'm pretty much guaranteed not to get that at GCSE... *hugs* if theres ANYTHING i can do you know i will. You've never annoyed me, i just feel so worried when you're upset. *huggles*

Thanks... it means a lot. ♥ Meh, be happy. ^^;
*makes note to stop beign upset and worrying people...*