We ended up going seeing I, Robot yesterday. T.T I'm kinda scared of the concept, probably due to The Second Renaissance. o_O Odd.

Oooh. :3 Amecon ish in Birmingham in 2006. Hah. We r0xx0rz.


lately, I've been getting myself more and more stressed, and that's having some pretty bad effects. I'm tired, not hungry, prone to throwing up randomly when I'm very stressed, prone to randomly crying. It's never really clicked before, but lately, if I'm really really worried, I will feel sick.
I haven't eaten properly since... meh, Wednesday or Thursday? I've eaten little bits like a bread roll or a sandwich, but no proper meal. Like I kept skipping meals at Wilder. Like not having breakfast Saturday, eating minimal amounts Saturday and Sunday, skipping food from Sunday lunch to mid Monday afternoon. I could even eat the chicken burger I ordered. I'm just... not hungry. I promised I'd try today, I've got half of my sandwiches left, I will eat them. I don't want to, but I promised. *eyes the last half* Gah, I don't want it...
Tiredness too, I've been tired most of the holidays. We'll joke about it, but seriously, I am so tired.  Not tired, but more... utterly exhausted. I'm not really sure if I want to go bowling...
It's like I told Katie yesterday... I have no control over how I'm feeling, I can't stop myself wanting to curl up and cry. I'm making people worry, and I hate that. Yet... it's like I don't have the energy to keep up a mask to hide how I'm feeling.
I keep thinking I still need to hide something away, to keep a part of myself to me, but... Part of me still insists I need control, part of me is scared. But how things are... I wouldn't have it any other way, you know? I just hope that I'm good enough.

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And now I'm worried... I want to make him smile and protect him... He's upset and I'm not there to make him feel better.
I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh,
I want to hold you high and steal your pain away...