Ever feel like things have just... spun out of control? Um. How to explain. It's not a bad thing, but... I like to feel I have some control but right now, I don't. I'm just being carried along, lost in these feelings. It's two weeks to Wilder. I have no cosplays done. I have plans, but I don't have the conviction. I just want to go and sleep.
I'm torn in two. One part of me is perfectly fine with the way things are going, but the other part of me... is insisting I slow down, stop and think... that I should be holding on, keeping my head, not just jumping in head first. It's the difference between saying something and actually doing it, I guess. I can make all the promises I want to myself, but I don't know if I can keep them.
And these strange feelings, gnawing away at me. Helplessness, inadequacy, jealousy, despair, happiness... Bwah.
Gah gah, this is coming out entirely wrong.

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I'm still really very tired, and it's not making sense. I'm sleeping, eating [mostly] but I just have no energy. Eh.
Should be making patterns for two cosplays tomorrow hopefully, or at least one of my 3 Wilder cosplays. I really want to do another one... But I don't know if I have time. If I finish Zell, and get most of the stuff for Omi, then I might be able to start the other one... Got hit by the random urge to cosplay DDR characters. Really easy too. ^^;


...I'm not hungry... Really. Even if we were having food I liked...

ETA: I love how my dad looks at me like everything's my fault...