Feeling excessively sleepy and mentally exhausted. But I'm getting. [Not too sure where there is. Figure that out later.]
Resisted all urges to be masochistic and poke at my past. Because... I don't really want to. Yes, there'll be a time when I will talk perhaps, but right now... It's not really a good idea. I'm pretty messed up as it is. x.x Oh well.
Part of me just wants to shut everything out right now. To just take some time to get to grips with things. That doesn't mean I'm going to. Too much at stake right now.
In other words, I am not giving up. I don't think I have to. Yes, I'm going to be a little weird and on edge, but I'm still going to be here. I'm not going to hide myself away and not face the truth. Gonna deal with it.
It's not easy. But I need to do this. Because... I don't think I can cope much longer the way I am. I'm going to be able to look in the mirror and think 'I am memorable. I am something special. I am proud of myself. I am worth something.'
And you know what? I'm going to find out what I'm good at. I've always wanted to know that.

I know it won't be easy, and there's some things about me that I don't like that won't change. It's not a case of snap my fingers and count to three. But maybe I'll be able to cope better with it.

[GIP. From a Korean movie, Momento Mori. Want it. Now.]