What exactly I am meant to do? I want to talk. But ya know, part of me insists it's just not fair to weigh everyone down with my problems.
Because there is always that part of me that insists that noone cares.
I know people do.

I just don't know how to explain. When I want to talk, everyone's busy. It's not their fault. When I'm happy, they just seem take it on face value.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm spliting into two people. Part of me is content to stay here in my corner and blame myself and be the person people tell me I am. The other half of me feels like breaking out, screaming at everyone. But most of the time I don't.

I've been accuses of trying to run away. ...Maybe I am, in a way. I can't see why people keep me around. I think people would be better off without me. It would be easier for everyone else without me.

I don't know what the point of this was.

I am not trying to attack anybody here. I am stating how I feel and how things feel for me.
I just son't know what to say. Call me a hypocrite, stupid, worthless, weak, whatever. I said I don't now who I am.

=========


Been looking up things regarding university. I'll have to think more regarding which branch of engineering, but... I'm not entirely sure either way. Looking at the EE courses at Imperial... there's the option of studying abroad which I really really want, and also, in my second year, I could study Japanese. It would all depend on what standard I needed to be at to take it. This is very much detracting from my orignal plan today. I meant to look up engineering firms around my area. ^^;;
But I really know what I want to do. The question is, can I do it?

It's things like this that makes me think I do have a reason to go on.

=========

I can't do my Physics. Argggh.