(no subject)

I'm bored, still kinda down and full of cold and I have no idea what to do... Yesterday, I actually thought I'd got myself out the apathy, but here I am again. Last night was fun, the movie wasn't brilliant, but it still made me giggle - haha, am I the only person wholiked this movie? ^.^ - got to eat a nice cheeseburger and drink chocolate milkshake - honestly, I died when they brought it out. Chocolate sauce. Mmm. - and watched my dad give the waiter evil eyes because we were hungry... Okay, that wasn't really goood. It's just my dad. ._. Got back home, was in a relatively good mood, feeling awake...
And somehow it all crashed down. Logged onto IRC, one of the first things I see is a comment that '[that thing] was really fun' and saying I hadn't been there. It just got me down for some reason. Even if it's not really my thing, even if I'd felt crap all day. That got me onot thinking other stuff, sitting there, just generally feeling unimportant. Things build up. There is so much building up, and I don't want to say it. It just makes things worse.
I just... want to sleep, but I'm not tired. Want to have something fun and interesting to do. Going to church and then horseriding, both of which I haven't done for ages... I want to go out and see my friends. But... they probably all have things to do...
Part of me is wondering why I should make the last pushes for my cosplays. I know I've promised people. But... man, looking at everyone else's posts. My cosplays are going to be crap, and I swear if I get the same money-time-effort lecture, I'm going to kill her. I don't have the dedication you have, okay? I didn't start early enough. I'm crap, okay? And all this confusion... I just want to be moderately proud of my 2 costumes. Or 3, depending on whether we go ahead with the other plan. There's two weeks left, and all I want to do is sit down and cry. For fucks sake, I am crying, and I shouldn't be, it's stupid, small and it shouldn't matter.
I wish I knew what was going on with ame, do I need to send off another cheque or will I jsut not be going? I need to get ID sorted if I can be bothered, or I'll just do what I did at Aya and sneak along some official ID...

Things just seem to be getting me down, and they shouldn't. It shouldn't matter. I shouldn't matter.

(no subject)

( Meme things )