(no subject)

I think I'm going to try and forget today ever happened.
Why? Because I am so ashamed of who I am and the things I do. I couldn't even be happy for the others, could I? No, I had to just curl up in a ball away from from everyone else and drown in my own misery.
I don't know why they put up with me, honestly, I don't. There's nothing good about me. I might not be a bad person but that doesn't mean I'm a good person. And as far as I can see, I am defintely not a good person. I am so selfish.
I actually said that I didn't know why they put up with me, and Jordan said that they liked having me around. Why? It's not like I contribute anything signifcant.

Sometimes I can't help thinking how much easier it would be for everyone without me around. Catherine would be so much happier. There would be nobody trying to spend time with her best friend. Because I know it, she doesn't give a damn about me whatsoever. And it would be easier for people without me constantly saying the wrong thing and thinking is right or vice versa and overreacting.

I'm not sure of my opinions on life and death but I know which would seem better at the moment.



You have to wonder, why am I here? ...I'm just a waste of space.