kthxrawr: (Default)

[personal profile] kthxrawr


jump start my kaleidoscope heart

already out of foolproof ideas


[so progress report - i am missing you to death.]
kthxrawr: (ten - nerd alert)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
last night, I was feeling really worried about my exam - more specifically, oversleeping and missing the exam, since it's been a long time since I've had a morning exam.

so of course, I woke up somewhere around 4, and have been awake since. so those 5 alarms I set? kind of useless. well, in 5 hours, this one at least, will be all over.
at least showers make me feel more human.

now time for last minute revision!

[it's still dark out. come back, summer!]

-

people should come to manchester soon.

[i keep telling myself, i'm not the desperate type.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - brendon singing)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
mm, comfort clothes.
that might sound weird, but I'm wearing my jeans and hoodie over my pajamas. a sign that today totally isn't a waking up early and being serious day. I have [not quite] just woken up. sleeping for twelve hours. mm.

-

last night was kind of long. the anime screening was good - Haruhi is moreorless a given, I think, as well as Black Lagoon because the dub is hilarious. then there was drinking. which is why I got in at around 2.30am.
conversation of the evening was someone saying 'I hope so-and-so doesn't remember when this thing happened'. and... told us what had happened. thus defeating the point.

also, people who get militant about music make me want to punch them in the face. I don't give a fuck if you don't like my music. just don't patronize me because of it.

-

[Poll #1070716]

[life is a test and i get bad marks.]
kthxrawr: (potc - oh bugger)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
so all that late night introspection? I slept through my alarms and missed my 10am lecture.
which is my only lecture of the day.

...you know, maybe I need an alarm clock. one that isn't my phone.

[it's whispering its truth, not mine.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - Brendon - you can't be serious)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
oh my god, I'm so fucking bored. yeah, I'm totally emofacing.

random points - when the lift gets to my floor, it tells me we're at the second basement. what.
- been watching many things. Lucky Number Slevin, Run Fatboy Run, Shaun of the Dead, and half of a Hornblower episode before I fell asleep on Katie's sofa. [in my defence, this was about 4am.] and also, Beck. because it's the only anime I have.
- uni seems to be okay. as in, like, 4 year course. no resits. huh.
- I've left my library cards at home. oops. no books for me.
- I'm stealing the unis internet. but I'm bored. :[
- seriously. BORED.
- I keep having moments of random nostalgia. since I have my old computer with me, I keep digging around my old files. like, old photos I took. me with my shitty blue hair. [oh god, the colour looked awful half faded.] I'm half temptd to put photos up to show how little I've changed.

in a bit, I'm gonna go buy some caffiene, and maybe go and clean my room. or go sleep.

eta: dear god, pictures of walls is the best website ever for cheering myself up.

Voice Post: Suspicious Minds
kthxrawr: (Default)
[personal profile] kthxrawr

[oh, we're so c-c-c-controversial.]
kthxrawr: (Charlie - my angst demands cheese)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
I feel so tired of being nice. which sounds really fucked up, I know.

I've spent the weekend with my brother sniping at me with things like how much he's earning, how he's trustworthy and how intellectual and grown up he is. I mean, of course, totally mature for the person who spent all morning sitting on the sofa watching television while my mother was at work, my dad was ill and I was cleaning the house. I try and be nice, but obviously, I'm just not worth being nice to, right?
I never said I was mature, I just don't pretend I am.

if plans fall through, what else can you do apart from shrug and move on? things have a habit of doing that lately, and it almost feels like I should stop putting my faith in these things.
I don't want to go back to mistrusting everybody [new] that I know. when people say 'let's do this' and actually follow through, it's something that means a lot to me. I'm still partially convinced I'll get back to uni and be in the same situation as last year.

I'd show my heart to anyone who ever gave me five minutes of their time.

I'm just tired of biting my lip.


I'm also really hungry.

[the indescribable moments of your life, tonight. the impossible is possible tonight.]
kthxrawr: (mcr)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
things that are good:
+ friends!
+ trying to ask if someone knows what I mean without telling them exactly what I'm talking about, thus negating the need to ask
+ pokemon - ahaha, what?
+ bandom ♥
- ...cults!
+ pirates!
+ noodles!
+ twisting sweet songs into something really creepy
+ knowing I have no exams until next friday! meaning I have time to revise and clean my room
+ music
+ chocolate milk
+ really good, expensive take away sushi
+ seeing people again!
+ finally having found some skin lightening cream

things that are not good:
- exams, and we will talk no further of this.
- anyone remember that stress based illness I used to have? the one where I used to make myself sick a lot? it's quite possibly back.
- sore throats
- knowing I have to revise and clean my room
- my brain in general
- ...seeing people again?
- finding out the skin lightening cream is only available at the Trafford Centre store

things that I am unsure about:
~ I go home in three weeks.
~ the fact I appear to be lacking in capital letters.

...how about you?

but to paraphrase a cat macro, it is tiem for sleepie.

[Jesus christ, that's a pretty face.]
kthxrawr: (Hikari - late for the sky)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
[friday and saturday]
Apparently, a good way of trying to get someone to wake up is to try and pour Reef down their nose.
Seriously. We were at 42s, and I'd told them I was tired, so I was gonna go home, and they were like 'No! Stay! Drink this!' and made me try and drink it.
...Good times. Honestly, there were some awesome photos on Tegan's camera. None of them were of me though! And when someone says 'corporate flat', they really mean 'super nice apartment next to one of the most expensive hotels in Manchester'.
I'm also a cheeky wench, and deserted Tegan and her friends for 5 minutes, while I abused my indie card. It was 10.25, free entry stopped at 10.30. I had queue jumper. Ahaha.
Having my hair straightened by Jay is scary, he kept threatening me. And also, apparently, we're bad at shopping? Stereotypes showing through. I brought a super cute red and white top with cherries on [cherries with smily faces and emo stars!] and some new laces. booya.

We went to see Harry and the Potters, too many emo kids! They have high pitched squeals. So we ditched that and went to eat noodles and tempura. ♥ Bad for my bank balance but so yummy. Note to self, student discount!
Spontaneous rain storms suck, as well as 'Was it raining? 8D' Screw you, to put it politely.

-

[exams]
ARRRRGGGH.

-

[life]
what's that?
Haha, seriously, going to the cinema tonight, but nothing else much. [pokemon != life.]
I do have more musics back. Oh, pretty pretty musics. If it would all copy properly. :[
This computer is so freaking laggy. Lag lag lag.


...what! Sunshine is... interesting.
My [not paticularly spoilery train of thought]: Seems okay, wonder what will happen... :0! Dramas! :0! More drama! ...What? Ew. WHAAAAT. WHATWHAT? *cower* WHAAAAAT. EW. ...Pretty.
I, um, liked the music! And two notes: Calling a spaceship Icarus is just asking for disaster, especially when you do it twice. And this really isn't the type of film you go to make out in. There was a couple at the front who didn't watch a single bit of it. [Keith kept checking, what.]

I think the only thing I want to do is sleep.

[And I'll run, this is where we both break free.]
kthxrawr: (Pichu - ass slap)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
Friends codes plz? :D
4338 8985 5747
and I'm playing Diamond. :D

So yeah! My wifi came yesterday.

I'm still sleeping really awkwardly, win. Recently, it's been like, 5 - 8, 11 - 4, 12 - 8. Can't you just... average it out?
I also have a few paragraphs of the report to bullshit out before 12. uh, k.

Overpriced Chinese food sucks.

-

Tonight, I'm going to do a huge sort out/getting up to speed, so um, don't worry. I'll get back on top of things.

[eta: Um, wow. This is right by where I live.]

(no subject)
kthxrawr: (dashboard - this is the last time i'll l)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
Today, on the other hand, has been a complete write off of a day. I am sniffly, nauseated, headachey, have an itchy eye and have just had a nap.
And I'm about to go back to sleep. :D

[and hay, me bringing an umbrella to London wasn't that stupid, it's raining quite a lot here now. D:]

[Tired boys and wired eyes.]
kthxrawr: (Jodie - hee [loserz])
[personal profile] kthxrawr
I am so freaking tired, it's unreal.

But oh, oh, AWESOME.

[I've been doing someone that you know, it's not a secret to me anymore.]
kthxrawr: (Haruhi and Kyon - you and me)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
On my current playlist, I'm listening to a Swedish dance punk band [the Sounds], a band which apparently got its name from a talking cobra in the desert [Cobra Starships] and some of the String Quartet Tributes, along with the general stuff I normally listen to, with a heavy bias towards My Chemical Romance, Panic and Fall Out Boy, with a dash of Muse thrown in for good measure.
I love my music taste. Too much music, too little space.

So come on, flist. What music are you digging right now? [leave me comments! spam me! please.]

-

So, today is London, for madness and other assorted fun.
[because waking up at 5 is all the rage. because I decided to dye my hair, and because I need at least two hours to make sure I'm awake and don't miss my 6.20 train. because spending 7 and a half hours on a train is hysterically fun, in the way it's really not.]
Also, for kicks, there probably will may be a phone post.

...Catch you on the flipside, boys and girls.

[Is it so hard every time I say 'won't you come and fight with me?']
kthxrawr: (p!atd - Ryan is too pretty)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
The whole sleep thing? Really not happening. I need to get myself in a room somewhere and simply sleep and work. And sleep some more.
It's never a good sign when you manage to sleep until 1pm and through 3 alarms. It's always slightly disconcerting to wake up with my phone already on and open. Normally with at least one text saying 'Uh, you ok? You're not in lectures.'

I also found out today I need a filter between my brain and my mouth. Or my keyboard.

I just want to make a list of things to do and actually have the motivation to stick to them.

I also figured out I'm the happiest I've been in a long while, but at the same time... not. I'm not sure either.

[I write down letters inside letters, but I can't let her see.]
kthxrawr: (Will - thoughtfulish)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
Yesterday's moment of looking like a complete spaz [bar the being unable to open doors and find my way around buildings, but that's all normal] - going to the library and checking 4 somewhat trashy teen novels. And Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. Because yes, it's a great switch. [It also means I got Permanent Rose, eee, Indigo.]

Also, it takes me a long time to get nicknames. There's a guy in our year who everyone calls Commodore. His surname is Norrington, duh.

My dinner today looked yummy. [It was yummy as well.] Toad in the hole. :D Proof I am not that lame at cooking.

My lab group sucks. This is the second lab this year I've had to do all by myself. They're just pretty damn lucky they're not writing the lab reports, ahaha.
I'm also totally sucking at working this semester - it's just I'm so damn tired. all the freaking time.

High school aus, get out of my head or onto paper, k? [and bandslash, stop eating my brain. bad.]

I want some black and pink converse. totally sexy.

where does the time go? this week has just gone. like that. makes me wonder if I can claim it back somehow.

...I'm still lacking motivation to upload songs.

eta: also, one of my group members msn icon makes me laugh. He's trying to be all serious and work-talky, and all I can think is 'you're trying to bite off your girlfriends face.'

['This is so messed up.']
kthxrawr: (Tifa - pretty girl)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
I'm sure I'd be way happier about passing my exams if I didn't feel so awful. By passing, I mean I have a 58% average, which might not sound fantastic, but it's what I've been told I need to stay on the MEng course.
...I'll be so mad if it's not true.
Okay, there's the somewhat... [I can't actually spell the word I'm thinking of XD What happened to those A grade English skills?] disappointing 36 [which thank god, does not include coursework] and the 48 and maths [which, uh, does.] but apart from a couple in the 50s, they're all 70s. Pretty good, although, I can do better.
...Only a few points off a 2.1 anyway. And if all goes to plan, this year doesn't count! Ahaha.

Got some good plans for this week though - hoping to do some volunteer work on Friday at the Multicultural Gala. It's not paid, but it should be fun.

I'm still feeling kinda outta sorts, sore throat plus incredible tiredness [plus the usual confusion I seem to create for myself] makes me weird. Lemsip time. My stomach is also persistantly itch and scabby, which is several kinds of disgusting.

Also, I have good reason to believe my phone is dying. It's not sending texts and bluetooth won't work. However, this makes me look at sexy, sexy phones that I really can't afford. Ngggh. There's a really nice one on the T-Mobile website, but it's so expensive. And I'm somewhat awful with phones, aha. I mean, I've broken two [making this the third that's died on me] and had two stolen. Electronics detest me.

I'm also singing a lot more lately, and falling in love with words. I also really want to go to a gig. Listening to live songs makes me a little sad. But like I said before, I'm weird like that.

[Yeah, the haircut's hot, but this has gotta stop, good shoes won't save you this time.]
kthxrawr: (Mai - festival lights)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
I'm convinced Torchwood is just an entire show of fanservice. Because the gunshooting lessons? More of an excuse to touch her up, it seems. It's... interesting. And silly. And... pure fanservice.

Thank you to everyone who commented yesterday, I'll take a bit of time getting around to each comment, but in general, thanks for caring enough to say something. It's really becoming a case of the more I get down, the more I exaggerate everything else.

I'm also geeking out over a series of children's books. I am so wrong. But I'm filled with glee over it. I'm so going to the library in the morning, since I'm not in till 11. Maybe I should go swimming as well.
I also read the Farseer and Tawny Man trilogies again, and Fitz is so the dumbest hero ever. ...I love him.

Maths exam went ok, I think. Well, compared to some of the others, har. Although - we had the first meeting with our supervisors for the group project this term yesterday, and he asked both of the two groups he's supervising what they thought of the exam. General response - 'Uh, better than the others.' '...I made it too easy then?' 'No, just... the others were bad. :D'
As for the group project... A sense of impending doom, perhaps. I'm not entirely sure what happened to this sentence either. :P

Got a doctors appointment next week, which as I've mentioned before is a kind of waste of time. I'm still waiting on Mill Point giving me details of rent, or even an application form, which is frustrating. Housing costs too much as well.

...Btw, I found that tshirt I lost. It was in my wardrobe. :3;

[Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the wall?]
kthxrawr: (Ritsuka - here for you)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
So wow, the whole going home and sleeping thing? Totally didn't happen. Instead, they got me drunk, and convinced me to stay completely against my free will! >| Or not. Heh, whatever. I'm quite glad I stayed [despite being oh so tired right now] it ended up being [mostly] a rather fun evening, sitting around, eating Doritos, listening to music and being silly. Meet a lot of cool people, which means that I'll come visit you soon, Ellie! ♥
But any night containing phrases such as 'I want to make him my finger puppet!' is surely one to remember, right?

...I'm still feeling ill. :D But hopefully, that will be one of the things this year will bring. I should be going to the hospital sometime soon - depending on when I can get a doctor's appointment [the most pointless appointment ever - 'hay they told me I need to go to the hospital, refer me plz] and then the hospital. It's scaring me a little, I guess.
Thinking of taking up another sport - at current, horse riding is at the same time as tours, which obviously take priority. And since tours are like, every other week, it's impossible to get on the list. But maybe another sport, maybe a martial art. Gonna try swimming more as well. It's depressing since I really need to loose weight - it's not just a self esteem thing anymore either.
I'm really... wishy-washy about clubs and stuff, I get bored, but I want to find something and stick to it. Get used to socialising more.

More work needs to be done, but hay, procrastination today. I really want to get good grades this time - if I get all around 50s, it doesn't matter what I get since I'm on the 4 year course, I just want good marks. I want that First. :/

I'm also going to get my head figured out a little more. I just don't want to go any crazier.

Are these my resolutions? Who knows.

[How you ever gonna find your place?]
kthxrawr: (Elena and Tseng - loyal)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
My dreams freak me out. I was feeling somewhat weird last night as it was, but now... Kablooey! I hate my head going kablooey. :| So I'm tired and my head is being screwy, I so don't want this right now. But who ever does? Also, why can I never sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend? :|

The java is done! DEFEATED! So yeah, we have a nice nifty casino game that takes all your money. Repeatedly. :3 Alas, if only it was real money. However, since yesterday was Friday 8th December - Signals [ughhh], Digital System Design and Maths are also done. Wait, does that mean Sarri only has two reports left to do this term? Yes it does. :3 Admittedly, one of them is the team project, but it's one credit. It's all looking up now, boys and girls, the end of term is in sight. And my parents should be ordering my camera. :3 Uh wow, anything ordered in the last two years off Amazon has been mine. Wins. For I am brat, hear me rawr.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were spent mostly in computer labs. Wednesday night did have an interlude of Nandos - heaven in chicken form before heading off to the 24 hour cluster. And Thursday night I slept too much. And Friday was just a rush. :| Stressful, but, tis over. Also, you have to love my department's organisation. Second years had 3 computer based courseworks to hand in yesterday... so they close our main lab from 12.30 till 5. And also, take down our intranet with our notes. Well done, EEE. :D But at least you paid me. Although Sainsburys gave me too much change. But after I handed everything in ♥ went straight to Greggs for cakes... Oversleeping + deadlines - money = no food. XD Me and Steve did go to mujs, but Akira sent me to sleep. I'd've liked to stay for FLCL but oh wells~ All their events are even when I have no money or when I'm... at home. D: Did talk to Potato and Lizzy a bit cause we turned up early, which was cool. I dither with my social groups. :/
So today has been a nice lazy day - net and no work is the way life should be. Tomorrow I might actually look at my Microelectronic Components [don't my module names sound so... geeky? xP]

So, by this time tomorrow next week, I'll be home. Christmas always does seem so long, but I'm looking forward to going back. I get to see my friends, the puppies, and of course, my favourite ball of fluff - Banner :D I'm going to miss Steve, but I don't want it to be that big of a deal - i.e. getting uber mopey and emo. Also, I need to revise like hell. I'm also kinda looking forward to my presents. My camera too, since it's not technically a present. But we have to 'negotiate' on when I get it, even though I should be able to pay for it myself. [So! Expect photo spams soon. I forsee my birthday present might be a memory card.] But otherwise, I'm getting money mostly off relatives, and going shopping with my grandma too. There's been some t-shirts I've been eyeing up online... So obviously, I will need more trousers too. Also really looking forward to Steve's present, the plushies will finally be mine...
Talking of Christmas presents~ basically, I'm going to have to buy my presents after my loan comes in, and I shall distribute presents as and when I see you. Unless you're Neko, then it's Toko!Christmas all the way.

Where did everyone get the idea that I am cute? >|
Answers on a postcard.

(no subject)
kthxrawr: (Kyou - children of the cat)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
My eye turned pink. It worries me.

I did get a Muse shirt. :3;

The Prestige is a crazy film.

My window is shut.

I can smell pizza, but the pizza has now gone.

Letting Steve out to go home at 5.30 when you can here someone's friends told thet he's going to be evicted on Monday for giving them his key - scary.

So, stay awake or sleep? XD

Also, Pizza Hut supports the rebellion.

Edit: WHAT. THEY PLAYED CITZEN ERASED LAST NIGHT. ARGHH.