kthxrawr: (Default)

[personal profile] kthxrawr

jump start my kaleidoscope heart

already out of foolproof ideas

[i am indifferent yet - i am a total wreck.]
kthxrawr: (fall out boy - pete - bartskull)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
holiday love anon meme!
so hay, hit me.

and spread it around so I can give you love?

[i laughed myself to sleep.]
kthxrawr: (Mai - chasing starlight)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
last weeks are always hectic. more like, totally stress.

I went out and treated myself to my favourite drink ever [cream based java chocolate chip frappuccino with a shot of espresso and a shot of peppermint = bliss, okay?] and a magazine. so now I have a calendar with Gerard Way's creepy face on it. awesome, y/y?

Christmas shopping has been done - for myself. my parents were just basically like 'well, here's the amazon account. you can spend this much money.' I was going to get a ds lite, but I may as well wait until my birthday - everywhere was sold out. duh, I guess. so, included in my list of things is Supernatural, House, Zelda and a few cds. and the rest will go towards going shopping with my grandma. squee, we're taking my cousin as well this year - a semi-emo-ish 15 year old. ahah, he's one of my favourites.

going home pretty soon. Saturday, to be precise. so hey, who is actually still around Birmingham? I'll chase up people at some point soon.

uni wise. um. I'm still a terminal slacker, you know. but I had my project meeting today and I was reassured on a number of counts:
- that I appear to have made some progress.
- that the one idea I have is a good one, and I should concentrate on that one.
- that my supervisor is going to be marking it, ahaha.
- and the best part - it's going to be used in lectures.
quick fyi: my third year project is to design a demonstration for a first year electromagnetics class. it's something... practical! in my second year, we made this weather station thing that, as soon as we'd finished it and got it marked, was wiped clean and disassembled so the next year along could use the same components. but this is something that I can design and it will be made and will actually be useful! oh god, you guys don't know how much that means to me.
so if I start raving about magnets any time soon, just tolerate me, k? ahaha.

Hi Adam. Am I doing it wrong?
If you're asking about life then yes. Completely.

...I always knew there was a reason I liked Rock Sound.

Hellogoodbye tomorrow. been listening to the support acts. that's... uh, that's different.

[and curse your god when your friends die.]
kthxrawr: (Ritsuka - here for you)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
oh man, amusement.

Sarri: ':D :D :D *prepares to write super emo entry*'
guy from class: *sits down next to her* 'so, hey about this lab...'

I forgive him, because his hair is pretty like a girl.
I have a thing about hair. fluffy and straightened? yesplz. I would like to pet it.
but I'm just the kind of weird, possibly slightly standoffish girl who he just has classes with.

it amuses me that he's the second guy with nice hair that I've noticed in my lectures. there's a second year in one of my classes who dyes his hair pink and red. oh man, it's awesome.

I feel like dying my hair something bright.


also, someone please save me. I don't want to watch SGA, do I? do I?
I keep having brief flings with tv shows. see, Lost, Heroes, Supernatural, Veronica Mars, House. see Scrubs.


I saw a video of Brand New at Reading. swear to god, the camera must have been right by me. playing 'you won't know', watching the crowd go mad.

I never wrote about that, but - oh god, it was awesome. couldn't move, crammed up by the front. I didn't know half the words but I knew the songs well enough. singing 'you won't know' over and over into the guitar.

oh, I want to be back there. I've got the gig bug. I know I say I hate the crowds, but there's some kind of electricity that's just... just awesome.
I have a list of bands I would kill to see again. since I've seen almost every band I wanted to see this year.


my apathy almost overwhelms me sometimes.

[too bad she gave it all away, when the magic's gone astray, hey hey.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - Ryan smirking)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
it's never good when the lights come up at the end of the film, and your [rather loud] response is:
'but where's the rest of the film?'

otherwise, fucking awesome. me and Katie pulled inappropriate faces at each other. and inserted random Doctor Who quotes.
'say my name. I like it when you say my name.'

man, I love these girls. ♥

[apparently nothing at all.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - jon - headphones)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
do you ever feel as if you've suddenly stepped into someone else's life?
you have what you want - now what do you do?

some days I'd like to look at how things look from the outside. see how the pieces fit.
life looks different when you take a step back.

how far do you have to step back though? we're all entangled to a point. linked by promises and secrets and regrets and he-said-she-said.

how do we know what is doomed to fail?
but wouldn't that just be the easy way out? looking at things beforehand, weighing up pros and cons, deciding if it's worth it in the end?
we make what we will of life. there is no meant to be, no perfect ending. we make each other into what we think we need.
even if I knew the outcome, would I jump in headfirst anyway?

I don't want to believe in things being predetermined, in the idea of soulmates, in the idea of being one special person for me.
what happens if you mess up that chance?
it's self preservation, it's wanting to believe I won't mess up.

maybe it's just from where I'm standing, I seem kind of prone to messing up.

my livejournal was five years old the other. five years of my random thoughts. how much have I [haven't I] changed?
also pretty close to 2000 entries.
some days, it scares me how dependent I am on this thing.

if only my thoughts could be where they needed to be.

[i'm making a note here - huge success!]
kthxrawr: (mcr - mikeyway approves)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
drunked livejournal posts are always the win.

although I still have enough of my senses to spell a little. it's better than p[redictive text. [semagic is going 'WTF YOU CANNOY SPELL' but I'm shunning it.]

tonight was FANTASTIC. I may or may not have gotten myself eloped with two - three? - girls, with a boy as our lead bitch. I am happy happy, even if my head is a little spinny.
it did pretty good at killing my angst.

I love my friends ♥ ♥

this song is awesome.

NOW. I go to watch The Empire Strikes Back. ahaha.

[come on, tightly hold your hand, take a deep breath - give them the finger.]
kthxrawr: (Elena and Tseng - loyal)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
conversations in song lyrics are so awesome.

I am seriously emo facing here. I am. I am severely confused and a little scared and a lot unhappy.
I'd. I'd just like some happy making thoughts.
[and for someone to tell me it's all okay, and I'm not fucking up, and to try and understand why I'm like this.]

take my brain, a band [or two], a cracked out manga involving robots, the phrase 'starving artist', 'One Day, Robots Will Cry - and what do you get.
[one person already knows.]
I have the best worst ideas.

I'm just out of sorts.

an easy way to tell if I'm kind of depressed. have I brought stationary lately?
I buy pens when I'm sad. yay, highlighters.

Christmas is in January. I can't really afford presents right now, so expect things then. ♥


come on, take this gasoline tin, head up high - walk like a winner. let the bare feet be the last sounds that they hear.

[but where's your heart?]
kthxrawr: (mcr - looking)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
smoke makes me cough, people make me annoyed.
but it was still fun. haven't seen people for too long.

not as long as others make it out to be. seriously, every time I see Jason, he's like 'I haven't seen you for months!'
dude, I saw you more recently than like... everyone else apart from Becky, Jordan and Vanesha.


'I shall kill your monstaaaaaaa.'
Beowulf made me laugh.
cause it was kind of lame.


I will never not love Ellie. ♥


if it's by air, I don't wanna know. if we all don't take cover, we're all gonna fall back in love again
[you work late to fight off your pulse, your patient dies, you take the night off.]

[you think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots.]
kthxrawr: (fall out boy - pete - let me hear you)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
song title meme a.k.a. winamp is on crack part 3523 )


lyric meme )


I have emo flu. seriously, I was trying to kill myself through coughing, and Alex handed me a piece of paper saying 'emo flu'. it was amusing.


*implode* 4x exp on maple.


[hey you beauty supreme, yeah, you were right about me.]

[i think i'll go home and mull this over.]
kthxrawr: (fall out boy - pete - ...yeah)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
I have just over 300 words, and all I think is 'god, I would much rather be writing that Beauty and the Beast au.'

I love love love the idea I have at the moment - just magic and curses and falling in love and grand gestures -
it just sounds a little cooler.
[oh, I'll admit it, I'm in love with the title alone.]

inspiration, please find me.


'Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you... I think that's the only thing I've ever really been sure of in my entire life. And I'm really messed up right now, and I got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I don't want to waste any more of my life without you in it. And I think I can do this. I mean, I want to. I have to, right?'

....bonus points if you can name the film.

in other news, I have issues with commitment. which really, is not that surprising.
[which, um, makes it sound like we broke up. IT'S ALL GOOD, DON'T WORRY. we just talk too much sometimes.]


also, in non depressing news - 69/100 for my coursework. fucking booyah.
especially since I had an 'oh god oh god, part of my assignment didn't get marked!' spazout.

nipples was said a bit too much during my lab.


sarritichi@scritch.me.uk has quit working. which kind of explains a lot.

[get it? get it? get it? you just don't get it.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - jon - looking adorable)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
so um, apart from the ALMOST GETTING RUN OVER PART. today was awesome.

still have the plague.

still hyper. was pretty damn awesome to see everyone. needs moar multiconvos.

um, actually kind of tired now. but films and awesome people call.
Tags: ,

[but i swear nothing quite like you and me.]
kthxrawr: (tai - talking in sunsets)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
...has it really been less than a week?

we've been spending a lot of time just together. it's. it's pretty damn awesome.
we're taking it slow.


I have the plague. this is not awesome. I'm just kind of overdosing on throat sweets.


it's been a odd week. I finally asked a question I was expecting to hear no to [and heard yes], I got a boyfriend, I saw three fantastic live bands [and one somewhat lame one], met people off my friendslist, handed in an assignment, made promises to talk more, and today I'm seeing a whole bunch of my friends today! despite the plague!

man, it feels good to feel this way.


'They wrote Nine in the Afternoon while being ... chemically imbalanced.'

okay, Panic, Pete Wentz, ilu. ♥


I've seen a lot of foolish behaviour in my time
but I tell you, they've got nothing on me

oh god, let me not screw this one up.
but I say this every time.

[awake and unafraid.]
kthxrawr: (mcr - we mean business)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
hunger. sleep. cold. but I'm defrosting.


hmm, let's start with the bad points.
still no Frank. no explanation, no 'Matt is playing for Frank today'. what did I expect though? insert huge ramble on communication between band and fans and respecting privacy. sometimes, it'd just be cool for you to say 'Frank can't play. here is Matt.' instead of just, well, not saying anything.
the crowd. gah. I know it's normal crowd behaviour, the whole pushing forward and surges from side to side, but it's so annoying. people don't want to let you get in front of them, deal with it. got knocked over once, and had trouble breathing at one point - I have never been so glad to hear 'I Don't Love You'. and my shoe lace came undone. fun for bouncing. the hilarious thing was for MSI and before mychem came on, I was slightly to the right of the right hand mic and about 4 rows back. by midway through mychem, I was more or less dead centre but quite a way back.
also, they ran out of my size in the shirt I wanted.
[livejournal.com profile] the_sell_out is stuck in Sheffield overnight! and is already sleep deprived enough as it is.

queueing, while cold, was hysterical. met up with [livejournal.com profile] the_sell_out [♥ thanks for being awesome!] and got to the arena around 1.30ish, I guess. ended up chatting to the girls next to us who were also awesome. much speaking in macros, fandom and 'hey Mikey you're so fine!'. fangirls.
MSI - amazing performers. hysterically funny. 'say 'I fucked your sister yesterday, douchebag'.' plus, since we ended up on Lyn-Z's side of the stage, when she jumped into the crowd, I ended up being one of the people holding her feet up before she actually jumped. so she was standing on us. Lyn-Z had a little crowd of fangirls, it was kind of funny.
despite all my bitching - My Chemical Romance were fantastic.
really nice people in the crowd! we were helping boost people forward to get out.
I have a tshirt, even if it's a small adult one as opposed to a large skinny.

I have less money than I thought and a lecture in less than 6 hours. awesome.
Tags: ,

[hallelujah lock and load.]
kthxrawr: (mcr - gerard - singing)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
so um. it's early. and I've slept very little. and my train is in 3 hours and Frank's probably won't be playing and they've stopped playing Bullets and -

I saw Biffy Clyro last night, pretty awesome.

off to meet up with [livejournal.com profile] the_sell_out, have a good day! ♥♥

[oh god IT'S TODAY. WHAT.]
Tags: ,

[can't cover it up.]
kthxrawr: (Kyou - children of the cat)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
it's costing me a grand total of £8 to get home. instead of £19.10. admittedly, part of that involves my parents dropping me off at Stafford at 8.30pm. and plus, I got my tickets to Sheffield for £6.50.
obviously, trains are awesome.

ALTHOUGH some retard decided to book the wrong date for the return journey. but it costs £5 to change the ticket [plus what I already spent] and £2.50 to buy a new ticket... do the maths.

and I get a Tegan tomorrow/today possibly. and oh my god, a Nik in January. a rare occasion.
as time goes by, I think we're better - healthier? - friends. I love him to pieces and though he annoys and exasperates me - it's nothing like it was. I don't need him to talk to me. it's nice when he does.
and plus, I hear his girlfriend is fucking awesome. ♥ for Neko!


I'm back in a good mood. god, this thing never makes sense. but my friends are fucking awesome. never believe anything different.
they played good cop bad cop on the way home, and said something I needed to hear.

courting in the form of kicking each other's ass at Soul Calibre 3. whatever works for you.


cause it's all been done and its all been said
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

sometimes I find it a little amazing, my ability to bounce back. a couple hours ago, I was feeling close to tears, close to being sick, had a splitting headache. and now I just feel... hyper? and nothing has really changed. but it doesn't matter. I'll carry on. [and though you're dead and gone, believe me-]
this keeps happening. I'll be really upset and then suddenly - all gone. I don't think I mind.

I walked back half of the way on my own, and to be honest, I needed that. just to be alone for a little.


life soundtrack )

winamp cracks me the fuck up.


Tags: ,

[don't be afraid to be afraid here with me.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - brendon - trying to look innocen)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
mm, passing out on other people's sofas! it's crazy how much time I spend there. but we're talking about plans for next year. I'm going to be living with people I know! more precisely, [livejournal.com profile] boonehwabbit, [livejournal.com profile] eleclya_m, [livejournal.com profile] individual_68 and [livejournal.com profile] mrs_jack_turner! ¦3
you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to this. although it makes people go 'hey, you have friends now'.

we watched the 3rd and 4th Harry Potter movies - in which I giggled, talked too much and made many comments about David Tennant's tongue. tried to watch Dogma after, but I feel asleep pretty soon into it. damn the whole needing sleep thing.


at 11.11, what do you wish for?
it's easier to wish for happiness than something specific, because happiness covers all the bases. it's more likely to come true.
I'd find a star for you if you asked. but the impossible is easier [to get] [to understand] than you.


amusing moments from my lecture.
there's a guy who keeps dying his hair pink and purple! it's just- pink and purple! *flail* unfortunately, he's a second year so I don't actually know him. [flailing is totally a coping method.]
the lecturer bitching about windows, and then saying 'I sound like a crazy Mac fan. ...uh, there aren't any of those here, right?'
talking about wireless security... in parts of cars. because how everything is getting all high tech and stuff - 'in your life time, there will probably be a murder inquiry where someone's anti-lock braking system has been hacked into.'


oh my god, fucking hilarity. Monday, I had to go to Waterstones to buy Katie a new copy of her book [exploding orange juice incidents] and was browsing around the fantasy section and thought 'hey, I wonder if the new Temeraire/His Majesty's Dragon book has been released', and there it was, in hardcover. I find it hard to resist shiny books.
turns out. it was released November 5th. the day I went in, by complete coincidence.

but yeah. dragons! alternate history! go read! it's one of the best books I've read.

Monday was also my day of retail therapy. I'm really awful with my money, so any Christmas presents will be in January. but I say this every year.


oh god, oh god, LESS THAN A WEEK. judging from two set lists so far, they might play Headfirst for Halos, which would be so awesome. I'm kind of spazzing out.
[livejournal.com profile] the_sell_out, did you get the message I sent you?

it's getting the point where I'm all 'hey guess what I'm doing next week? :D :D :D' and everyone is 'yeah, we know already.'


also, I got killed. *sad face*

[where everything i do is flipped and awkwardly reversed.]
kthxrawr: (fall out boy - pete - let me hear you)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
Manchester meet! next Saturday - 17th November! between 10 and 11 at Picaddily station! [if you need my number, comment.]
I need to confirm who is coming, and have people work out who is staying where. like I said, I have 2 spaces left in my room, but worse comes to worst and more people want to stay in Manchester, then we'll just squeeze in? XD
also, if people are coming by coach, times would be appreciated so we know when to come collect you. ¦D

[if you could be my punk rock princess.]
kthxrawr: (p!atd - jon - looking adorable)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
psa: if I'm sitting in a computer lab with a programming assignment handout, programming up on my screen and my headphones in - this kind of implies I don't want to talk to you. especially if you're not actually, you know, doing this class.
[okay, so my music is as low as it will go, that makes no difference. he came up and was 'hi 8D' and I was just 'uhh... yeah. working.']

today has been bad day so far - woke up at 11 when my lectures are at 9, 10 and 11 respectively. the 11 one was cancelled. and there's the whole matter of this programming assignment. I think I'll be in the lbas for a few afternoons.
also, I need to do research and start my [livejournal.com profile] nightmare_xmas assignment.

but [livejournal.com profile] bumped's wolf game has started ¦3 this should be... interesting.

I like annotating my notes in pink fineliners. I don't know, it's just all the electronics stuff - but with pink writing! it cracks me up, okay?

also, you guys rock for answering my elf question, ahaha.

eta: my program is spitting out random errors at me. not happy.

eta2: WAIT THAT WAS EASY. however, I'm like, a week behind. I have bad work ethics. true story, i keep compiling the program to check it works, despite having changed nothing.

[you constantly make it impossible to make conversation.]
kthxrawr: (Mai - chasing starlight)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
[Poll #1083525]

[let's take a walk out on the broken glass, come on come on come on.]
kthxrawr: (Kairi - destiny)
[personal profile] kthxrawr
interest meme from [livejournal.com profile] the_sell_out

world domination
who doesn't want world domination! [I had a conversation about this the other day - it would be nice to delegate things.]
touchy boylove
see: Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Fall out Boy.
death kitty
a fairly emo range of clothes. with cat ears on. I've got one of their jackets which has a hood with cat ears on [which amuses drunk people] and I adore it.
expect the unexpected
back, a long long time ago when I used to watch Cardcaptors [so a little while before I began this journal], one of the characters would always be 'expect the unexpected!' but... wouldn't that make it the expected?
some people [mainly my dad] are all 'yeah, squirrels are just rats with good pr', but honest to good, I think they're adorable. on holiday one year in Canada, we kept seeing this little black squirrels everywhere in the middle of a city. it was rather cute.
ninja pirates
the only solution to the never ending war between ninjas and pirates. you have to admit, they'd be pretty fucking awesome.
I deal with binary a lot on my course - binary addition, logic, that kind of thing. and I don't know, I kind of like it. proof that I do like my course? maybe.


I woke up! coffee is my friend, yo. [people don't let me have coffee normally.]
me and John went Halloween costume shopping - or at least, he brought all of his costume bar a wig, I went 'fuck it' and brought eyeliner. I also had a java chip peppermint frappuccino [did you know I have to google this every fucking time?] that was just what I needed. also, Starbucks makes me think 'you smell of Christmas, Jon.'
[from thursday. I procrastinate on lj.]


in other news, I totally have a crush on Lyn-Z from MSI. she has a really cute smile! [and is really bendy. really. bendy.]
wriggly wriggly joy.

and Pete Wentz, I think you're kind of hysterically amazing. you dressed up as Ryan Ross for Halloween.


you know there's always one person in a flat who plays really loud music? I think that's me.


I woke up and my hair was pink.
[seriously, there's a story behind this! back in my first year, I dyed my hair pink randomly one weekend, and when it got around to my tutorial, midway through, my tutor turned to me and was 'your hair wasn't that colour last week!' seriously, just in the middle of the session. we were talking about it on the train to expo, and the 'I WOKE UP AND MY HAIR WAS PINK' was coined. it got us some weird looks.]
but yeah. I woke up and my hair [and the walls and my face and my shoulder] was pink. Pete Wentz bangs. but in pink.

but I've talked to Sophie, who says I should dye all of it pink/red. it would match. I'm wearing black trousers, a red long sleeved top, a Nightmare Before Christmas t-shirt [black], red and black gloves, red and pink converse and a black cadet hat. oh god, i adore this hat. I've always wanted one, but they look retarded because my head is too big. now I have one.

we saw the most awesome t-shirt ever. robots in disguise.


one of these days I need to get my ass in gear and fucking work.
one of these days.